the original

Ten Commandments of Caprism

as revealed to David R. Wells

I. I am the Capri, thy car who has delivered thee out of the hand of the BMW 3.0 CSi. Thou shalt have no other cars before me.

II. Thou shalt not make for thyself any graven images of Chevys, nor of Pontiacs nor of Oldsmobiles, nor of anything that is made by GM; Thou shalt not bow down to them or serve them, for the Ford is a jealous car.

III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Ford in vain, even though they forsake thee and send thee no parts.

IV. Remember thy oil changes, and keep them faithfully. 3000 Miles shalt thou drive and do all thy errands, but then shalt thy Capri rest and have its oil changed.

V. Honor thy 13mm wrench and thy Phillips screwdriver that thy Capri's days may be long in the land of the living.

VI. Thou shalt not kill Capris by driving them in the salt.

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery in the back seat, lest thou hurt thyself, for it is far too cramped back there. And remember ye the benefits of reclining bucket seats.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal engines from Chevys for use in Capris, for this is an abomination.

IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness about thy 0-60 time.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors RS-2600, nor his 2.8i, nor his Crayford Convertible, nor his RSR, nor his Tickford Turbo, nor any Capri that is thy neighbors. Thou shalt fix up thine own instead, and make thy neighbor covet it.

I.	I am the Capri, thy car who has delivered thee out of the hand of the BMW 3.0 CSi. Thou shalt have no other cars before me.
II.	Thou shalt not make for thyself any graven images of Chevys, nor of Pontiacs nor of Oldsmobiles, nor of anything that is made by GM; Thou shalt not bow down to them or serve them, for the Ford is a jealous car.
III.	Thou shalt not take the name of the Ford in vain, even though they forsake thee and send thee no parts.
IV.	Remember thy oil changes, and keep them faithfully. 3000 Miles shalt thou drive and do all thy errands, but then shalt thy Capri rest and have its oil changed.
V.	Honor thy 13mm wrench and thy Phillips screwdriver that thy Capri's days may be long in the land of the living.
VI.	Thou shalt not kill Capris by driving them in the salt.
VII.	Thou shalt not commit adultery in the back seat, lest thou hurt thyself, for it is far too cramped back there. And remember ye the benefits of reclining bucket seats.
VIII.	Thou shalt not steal engines from Chevys for use in Capris, for this is an abomination.
IX.	Thou shalt not bear false witness about thy 0-60 time.
X.	Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors RS-2600, nor his 2.8i, nor his Crayford Convertible, nor his RSR, nor his Tickford Turbo, nor any Capri that is thy neighbors. Thou shalt fix up thine own instead, and make thy neighbor covet it.