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last updated: 4 March 2010
© 2010, all rights reserved
In the late years of the twentieth century, to combat the rising tide of religious unorthodoxy and GM parts, Ford gave Cardinal Ximinez of Ford Werke AG leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land, in a reign of violence, terror and torture that makes a smashing web site. This was the Ford Inquisition.......
Our chief weapon is surprise.... Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise.
Our two weapons are fear, and surprise.... and ruthless efficiency.
Our three weapons are fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency.... and an almost fanatical devotion to old Capris.... Our FOUR.... no.....
Amongst our weapons are such elements as fear, surprise, ...... I'll come in again.
Those found guilty of heresy by thought, heresy by word, or heresy by deed..... or heresy by action, will be poked with the Soft Cushions. (and we'll make sure that the stuffing is all at one end!!) Heretics may also be placed in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven!!
Heresy today is mostly in the form of using non-Ford parts in a Ford, especially a Ford/Mercury Capri.
Ch*vy small block V-8s are expressly heretical. And so are big blocks. (Rats are vermin, after all!)
Any BMW part is expressly heretical. However, using fuel injectors intended for BMW 2002 Tiis is not heretical, since BMW simply used the Kugelfischer system that was previously used in the Capri RS-2600. Similar dispensation will be granted for VDO gauges, or any part made by another supplier to the German auto industry.
Buick/Rover aluminum V-8s have been a controversial subject, but the Inquisition has decided to give dispensation to those who have used these engines in Capris. There are simply too many of these conversions, and we were wearing out our Soft Cushions. Besides, the Ford/Land Rover merger should resolve any remaining theological problems. Details will be released in a forthcoming Papal Bull.
Ford "Zetec" engines have been blessed by the Inquisition for use in Capris, as have turbocharged "Lima" 4-cylinders, modern 4-liter "Cologne" V-6s and "Windsor" V-8s, in both 302 and 351 cubic inch capacities.
The exact membership of the Ford Inquisition is a well-guarded secret, but Capri-list regulars will know a Cardinal when they see one.
Ford Inquisition members are referred to as Cardinals, after Ford UK's "Cardinal" project of the early 1960s, which eventually became the Ford Cortina, the direct ancestor of the Capri.
The Ford Inquisition regualarly monitors Capri-List, so don't say anything Heretical!
View the Wells Brothers' Capri page
Return to the garage
last updated: 4 March 2010
© 2010, all rights reserved