The Touch

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By the time Lorne, Ronon, and Teyla found them, they'd been in the cold, dank cell for over two weeks, sitting huddled together for warmth in the chill dampness, eating their meager allotment of food from the same bowl and sleeping curled around each other on the fetid straw, sharing body heat under the single thin blanket they'd been given.

The first night back in his own quarters after being released from the infirmary, John tossed in his bed, unable to get comfortable. He knew why, but he ignored the longing for a warm body beside him. Not just any warm body, of course. He missed lying beside Rodney. But they were home now, and things were back to normal. And sleeping beside Rodney McKay was the complete antithesis of normal.

After a few more minutes of tossing, he sat up with a sigh. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he sat hunched over with elbows on knees running his hands tiredly through his hair. He was exhausted and still weak from deprivation, yet sleep eluded him. And he was cold. So cold he wondered if he'd ever be warm again. Giving up on the hope of getting any rest, he stood and walked over to where his discarded clothes lie. He quickly dressed, and a minute later he was out of his door.

He walked the halls of Atlantis, listening to the muted sounds of the sleeping city. He met no one, though he did hear the quiet voices of a couple of Marines patrolling the empty corridors. He had no destination in mind; he just wandered aimlessly through the semi-dark hallways until he came to a halt in front of a particular door. He meant to move on, but instead his hand reached up, and he pressed the panel next to the door. He wasn't surprised when it opened easily. McKay probably never even thought about locking his door.

He stepped into the dark room allowing the door to slide shut behind him. Enough light filtered in through the translucent shades that he could make out the recumbent form outlined under the covers on the narrow cot. He knew he should turn around, leave, but he stood rooted to the spot. His stasis was broken when a quiet voice said, "Colonel?"

John swallowed and moved forward. He didn't speak, only came to stand at the side of the bed and looked down into Rodney's dark eyes. His hands moved to the waistband of his trousers and he toed off his shoes as he unbuttoned and unzipped. His pants slid down his legs and he pushed them off before removing his socks. When he looked back up again, Rodney had scooted over to give him room and was holding up the covers to allow him access.

He slipped into the bed, a ragged breath escaping as he felt the heat of Rodney's body envelope him. He lay on his side and looked at the other man, feeling the chill slowly leave his body. Not a word had been spoken between them since Rodney's soft inquiry. Their bodies didn't touch, not an easy feat on the small bed. He swallowed again, tried to control the rapid beating of his heart, leaned in just a bit more toward Rodney, and closed his eyes.

His eyes flew open again when he felt Rodney's hand touch his waist. Rodney was staring at him, his eyes wide and searching as he slid his hand slowly, lightly, up John's torso, along his ribs, and then back down again. John felt his breath hitch and he gasped when the warm hand slipped under the hem of his t-shirt and touched bare skin.

With excruciating slowness, the hand repeated its journey up John's side, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. John could feel himself harden, and a yearning blossomed in his chest that terrified him. He began to freak out. He hadn't come here for this. Rodney had gotten the wrong idea. He'd only wanted to be warm again. He wasn't gay. He didn't want Rodney. When Rodney leaned in, obviously intent on kissing him, John jerked back. Grabbing hold of Rodney's hand, he pushed it away. "Don't," he said. "Don't." He could hear a touch of panic in his voice. Getting out of the bed, he grabbed up his pants and hurriedly pulled them on.

"John," Rodney said, reaching out a hand toward him. "Colonel, please."

"Don't," John repeated. Socks and shoes were pulled on and John walked to the door as quickly as he could without actually breaking into a run.

"Please," Rodney said again a little desperately. "I'm sorry."

John hit the door panel and walked out. He didn't stop walking until he was once again in his own room. He collapsed onto his bed, and lay there, shivering slightly, staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts whirling around in his head and his heart pounding painfully in his chest. He shouldn't have gone to Rodney's room.

He wasn't gay. He didn't want Rodney McKay.

~~~

The next day he tried to avoid Rodney, but Rodney found him nonetheless.

"Colonel Sheppard," he called and John felt panic clawing at him, but he'd been well trained not to show fear, and so he turned and faced the approaching scientist with his face as carefully neutral as he could make it.

When Rodney was standing opposite him, John could see the uncertainly and worry plainly written on the other man's face, and he just wished that Rodney would go away. He didn't want to have this conversation, didn't want to talk about last night though he knew they couldn't just pretend it had never happened.

"I'm sorry," Rodney said softly so that no one could overhear. "I was out of line last night."

"I was the one that came to your bed, Rodney," John answered. It was not what he'd planned on saying.

"Maybe," he said, his hand making elegant circles in the air. "But I was the one that misinterpreted. I promise it'll never happen again. Not that I expect you to..." He stopped, closed his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. Opening his eyes again, he said plaintively, sincerely, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Rodney," John said off-handedly, though it wasn't fine. "I should never have come to your room. That won't happen again."

Rodney swallowed and nodded. His eyes had a suspiciously glassy look about them as if he were fighting back tears. That thought made John's stomach twist a little and he wanted to leave, get as far away from McKay as he could.

"So, we're okay?" Rodney asked anxiously.

"Sure, we're cool," John answered, but he didn't mean it. They weren't okay. Rodney had touched him, made him hard, but he wasn't gay and he didn't want Rodney McKay. He gave Rodney a brief nod, turned on his heel, and walked away. He was almost sure it didn't look like he was running away.

~~~

After that, he found it much easier to avoid Rodney because Rodney didn't seek him out. They nodded at each other if they met in the mess hall or control room or passed in the halls, but they only spoke when their jobs required them to. After two weeks, Beckett declared them fit for active duty and Elizabeth called the team in for a pre-mission briefing.

John sat on one side of the table and Rodney sat on the other and they didn't look at each other. Well, maybe brief glances, but nothing more. They listened as Elizabeth explained that Major Lorne's team had located the ruins of a village. There were interesting energy readings emanating from somewhere in the area, possibly from the temple-like building in the middle of the village, but they hadn't been able to discover the source. The temple itself was completely empty. Perhaps Rodney would have better luck.

When it came time to depart for the mission, instead of walking next to him as he usually did on the way to the jumper bay discussing the mission or passing on gossip or bitching about being pulled away from his important work or telling John about his latest health crisis – an infection from a paper cut he'd managed to stave off with the judicious use of Neosporin, or the chipped tooth he barely managed to avoid when biting down on a hard kernel of popcorn during movie night, Rodney walked on the other side of Ronon and didn't look at John, didn't speak to him. And that was fine with John. He didn't miss talking to Rodney at all.

Rodney was unusually quiet on the flight, too. So much so that Teyla turned in her seat next to John in the front of the jumper and asked with concern, "Dr. McKay, are you well?" Rodney answered, "Yes, yes, fine," and returned to his unnatural silence. John could hear him poking at his handheld computer as if he was working on something vital. Teyla turned around again with a confused frown marring her face. When they got to the ruins, Rodney was up and out of the jumper before any of the others.

John followed behind watching as Rodney followed the energy trail to a building in the middle of the small settlement, obviously the temple that Lorne had described. It was the best preserved structure of the dozen or so buildings that made up the village, and even though it appeared to be the largest, John estimated that it still only measured about fifty by one hundred feet in size. Rodney entered the building and the others followed. As Lorne had reported, it was completely empty.

It didn't really surprise John in the least however when within five minutes of entering the building, Rodney had located a hidden panel and activated a switch. There was a moment of disorientation, and when that passed, John realized that they weren't in the same room they'd just been in. The door to the outside that had been at John's back was gone. A different door stood in the wall across from where he stood.

"Okay, what just happened?" John asked warily, his gun up as he looked around for hidden enemies.

"It's a transporter," Rodney said blinking in surprise. He started to walk toward the door when John ordered, "Don't."

Rodney froze, his face paling slightly, and John cursed himself for using that word.

"I'll go through first, Rodney," he said and walked over to the door and pressed the panel that was recessed into the wall next to it. When the door slid open, John moved forward, his gun at the ready. As he stepped through, he tensed just a bit when lights automatically came on as soon as his body crossed the threshold. What he saw inside made him freeze.

"Son of a bitch," he said in an awed voice.

"What? What?" Rodney asked pushing John forward so he could enter the room. He stopped, frozen in his tracks, his hands on John's waist, and stared. John could feel the heat of Rodney's hands even through his vest, and he stiffened slightly. Rodney jerked his hands away and moved around John, his arms wrapped around his chest.

"What is this?" Ronon asked, stepping into the room behind Sheppard.

"It's a weapons' chair," Rodney said in a slightly strained voice. "We only know of two others. One is in Atlantis and one is on Earth."

"What does it do?" the big man asked as he approached the chair curiously.

"When operated by someone with the ATA gene," McKay answered, "it shoots drones that can take out Wraith darts. Very handy in a siege."

"Although the village is in ruins, I saw no signs that the Wraith ever attacked here," Teyla said. "Is it possible that there may still be drones?"

"One way to find out," the scientist said, going up to the control module. John refused to get his hopes up as he and the others watched Rodney's fingers fly over the board, first powering it up and then pulling up information. After a few minutes, his body language changed, and John knew him well enough to know that Rodney was excited – very excited – over whatever the readouts were telling him.

"Rodney," John said drawing out the name in the way that said he wanted answers.

"Just a minute," Rodney said distractedly. "I think... yes... wow."

"Okay, wow is good, right?"

Rodney turned and the grin on his face was blinding. John ignored how his heart skipped a beat. "If these readouts are correct, Colonel, then yes. Wow is very good."

"How good?" John asked.

Rodney turned back to the control panel and punched more buttons. Another door slid open and Rodney straightened up. "Let's go see how good, shall we?"

John led the way again, and as before, lights came on as soon as he stepped through the doorway. Once again he stopped, staring in amazement. He felt Rodney step up behind him and he moved out of the way, allowing him to see inside the room.

"Wow," Rodney said in a reverent voice.

John grinned as he looked at row upon row of drones. Hundreds of drones; thousands of them.

"How many do you think are here?" John asked.

"Lots," Rodney said.

John laughed and looked at Rodney. They shared a grin until suddenly Rodney's smile faltered and he turned away from John.

"We should have Elizabeth contact the Daedalus as soon as she's in range," Rodney said, his voice flat. "They can divert here and Hermiod can beam the drones up to the ship for transport to Atlantis."

John nodded. "Yeah," he said around the lump in his throat.

~~~

"So do you have an estimation of how many drones there are?" Elizabeth asked her eyes bright with excitement at the news.

"I can only estimate based on a quick calculation of the numbers visible, but I'd say in excess of ten thousand."

Elizabeth sat back in amazement and John whistled. "You didn't mention that when I asked you," he said pointedly.

Rodney didn't look at him. "I hadn't made an estimation when you asked me, Colonel," he answered. "I did that before we left."

"So, do you think we can safely transport so many drones?" Elizabeth asked with a slight frown on her face as she glanced between her two top men.

Rodney nodded. "Yes, certainly. As you'll remember from Antarctica, unless they're activated by the chair, they are, for the most part, completely harmless."

Elizabeth smiled. "Good. Then we'll contact Colonel Caldwell as soon as the Daedalus is in range, which should be in about two weeks. You can return to the planet when they're close and..." She stopped speaking when Rodney shook his head.

"I want to go back immediately," he said, "and take some of my people with me." At Elizabeth's questioning look he continued. "Since Colonel Sheppard wanted to return to Atlantis immediately with the good news, I didn't have an opportunity to make a thorough examination of the facility's database. But what I did read leads me to believe that there's information there regarding the Wraith that we don't have here. Anything we can glean can only be useful. We need to go back and download as much of the data as we can. I also want to explore the ruins some more. It's obvious now that the 'village' was actually an Ancient outpost. I want to see if the Ancients left us any other useful presents."

"That sounds like a good idea," Elizabeth said approvingly. "Any objections, Colonel?"

"Nope," John said casually, hiding his irritation behind a façade of calm. If Rodney had wanted to look over the database more closely, he should have said so instead of meekly following John's orders. Whatever John's personal feelings about the man, he was well aware that Rodney knew his job. "If Dr. McKay says he needs to go back, we go back."

Rodney glanced at him then, and John knew the Rodney knew he was irritated when the scientist flushed slightly and looked away again.

"Very well, then," Elizabeth was saying. "Rodney, you make whatever arrangements you need. I only ask that you don't completely strip Atlantis. We may have need of a scientist or two between now and when the Daedalus arrives." She smiled at Rodney before turning to Sheppard. "Colonel Sheppard, I want you to arrange a security detail to accompany the scientists." When he nodded his acknowledgement, she said, "Very well, gentlemen, I'll let you get on with it then."

Rodney was up and out of Elizabeth's office before John had gotten to his feet. With a sigh, he nodded goodbye to Elizabeth and left.

~~~

John finished the duty roster for the off-world security team and went to the mess hall for some dinner. He'd barely begun eating when another tray slid onto the table and he looked up to see Ronon taking a seat opposite him.

"Ronon," he greeted his teammate.

"Sheppard," Ronon answered before shoveling a forkful of food into his mouth. John had returned his attention to his own plate when Ronon asked, "So, what's up with you and McKay?"

John's fork froze halfway to his mouth. Setting it back down again, he looked sharply at Ronon and said, "I don't know what you mean."

Ronon paused long enough in his eating to reply, "You two hardly talk to each other any more, and you act like you can't stand to be in the same room together. Teyla and I have both noticed it." He forked up more food and shoved it in his mouth.

John lifted his own fork again and said, "Nothing's wrong."

Ronon just looked at him with his penetrating, too-knowing dark eyes. "I don't think so, Sheppard."

"Okay, look," John said knowing that Ronon wasn't going to drop it. "We've had a bit of a...falling out. It's nothing to be concerned about. It won't affect the team."

"Falling out, huh? Over what?"

John stiffened and before he could censor himself he said, "It's personal."

Dropping his eyes back to his plate, John concentrated on eating hoping that Ronon would finally let it go. After a bit of silence, Ronon said, "If you want him, Sheppard, you should just take him if he's willing, which I'm sure he is. Save yourself all this frustration."

John choked on his peas and had to grab for his coffee cup and take a drink to clear his airway. He glanced around nervously, then leaned forward and hissed, "Don't say things like that. In my military-"

Ronon interrupted before he could finish the sentence. "I know what your rules are. They're foolish." He shrugged. "In the Sateda military, male pairing was accepted."

"Well, it's not accepted in my military," Sheppard ground out leaning forward and speaking softly so that only Ronon could hear. "And even if it was, I would not want McKay!"

The look the former runner gave him told Sheppard that Ronon didn't believe him, but he only shrugged and said, "If you say so."

"Well, I do say so," Sheppard insisted, sitting back in his seat and glaring at the other man. Ronon finished eating his meal and stood up, tray in hand. Giving Sheppard a steady stare, he said, "My grandmother always told me that life's too long to live with regrets." When John's only response was to glare some more, he added, "Don't deny what you want just because you think you shouldn't want it. It'll be too late one day." With that, he turned and left the table.

~~~

John looked around at the controlled chaos as scientists and Marines set up their camps. Rodney was in his element, yelling orders, berating his people, and being a whirlwind of forceful personality. John hadn't realized how much he'd missed watching full-throttle McKay.

In an amazingly short time, the science group was organized and working on making the connections necessary to hook up the Earth-based technology with the Ancient. By the time darkness fell, the computers were ready to begin the download.

"All right, people," McKay barked. "You're all tired, and if I make you work any longer, you'll probably just screw something up and I'll have to work all night to fix it, so we'll stop for now. Eat, sleep, and get up early tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do and not much time to do it."

John smiled when none of McKay's people took umbrage at his words, so used to his insults that they merely rolled their eyes, shut down their equipment, and headed to the transporter.

John made sure that the guards were set for the night, then sat and ate with Ronon and Teyla. Rodney sat with Zelenka on the far side of the camp, the two men discussing something that appeared to require wild arm gestures and animated facial expressions to be understood.

"Dr. McKay appears to be enjoying himself," Teyla noted with a smile. When John glanced at her, her smile faded. "I have been very worried about him. He has not been acting himself lately."

"He's fine," John answered shortly.

When Ronon snorted, John glared at him. "He's fine like you are, right, Sheppard?"

"Knock it off, Ronon."

Ronon just gave him that damned knowing look of his and then shrugged. John couldn't help but notice that his two teammates exchanged a glance before returning their attention to their meals. When it came time to bed down, John noted that McKay was sharing his three-man tent with Zelenka and a scientist whose name John didn't know. John turned away to enter the tent he was sharing with Ronon and Teyla. His teammates quickly fell asleep, but John lay awake in his sleeping bag, their quiet breathing sounding strange to his ears. He was used to a wheezing snore. It was a long while before he fell asleep.

~~~

The next day would have been boring for Sheppard if not for the fact that he found the Rodney McKay show to be so fascinating. He knew that Rodney was brilliant, far smarter than anyone else on Atlantis, including Zelenka. He'd seen Rodney come up with solutions time and again that had saved their asses. But seeing him flit around, solving problems the other scientists had only barely begun to articulate, pulling off panels and fixing ten thousand year old technology as easily as John could change a battery in his flashlight, reading text written entirely in Ancient and shouting out instructions to his team, John finally got why Rodney had such a high opinion of himself. And he couldn't help but feel a little proud of the man.

The second day ended much as the first, with Rodney deciding when it was time to quit work for the day. Once again, John watched as Rodney ate with Zelenka, talking throughout the meal. For all the words that had spilled from Rodney's mouth that day, not one had been directed at John. Not that John cared.

~~~

The third day, Rodney decided that the people he'd assigned to transfer the Ancient database could continue on their own, and he set up a couple teams to explore the rest of the vast Ancient outpost. One of the bits of information that Rodney had garnered so far had been a schematic of the facility's layout. John heard him explaining to Zelenka that the facility was huge, covering many miles underground, hidden from view so that it appeared that only the tiny village existed.

When the scientists he'd picked were gathered around him, Rodney said, "You're to look but not touch. Got that? Take readings, make recordings, but keep your hands to yourselves. I'd just as soon we not have anyone's brains liquefying. Understood?" When he received nods of acknowledgement, he waved them off. "Then boldly go, explore, seek out, be back by suppertime."

"Wait a minute, McKay," John said stepping forward.

Rodney froze. "A problem, Colonel?" he asked just barely glancing at John.

"No one's going anywhere without a military escort."

"Fine, whatever," Rodney answered, once again paying more attention to his handheld computer than to John. "Just make sure they understand the rules. No touching." John frowned, but turned and issued orders. "Ronon, you take Henderson and go with Dr. Wilson's team. Teyla, you and Johnston go with Dr. Hamanaki's team. I'll go with McKay."

Rodney's head snapped up, but before he could say anything, John said, "Shall we go, Rodney?"

As the other teams left the room, Rodney said, "I didn't say I was going."

John raised one eyebrow. "Are you telling me you've got all your gear on and you're not going to go explore?"

Rodney scowled, but then confessed, "Very well, I am going to go explore, but you don't need to bother coming with me yourself. I'm sure you have more important things to do. Anyone will do who's smart enough not to get in my way."

"I wouldn't trust any of my men not to shoot you after fifteen minutes in your company," John said dryly. He'd meant it as a joke, but cursed himself when he was the hurt flicker in Rodney's eyes. Then Rodney's chin came up and he said, "Fine, Colonel. You can be the sacrifice. I'll try not to make your chore too onerous." Bending over, he picked up his knapsack, slipped it on, and stalked away.

"Shit, Rodney," John whispered as he followed behind.

~~~

Rodney didn't speak again, at least not to John. He kept in contact with his teams and with Zelenka back in the chair room. He worked silently and efficiently otherwise, cataloging and recording. When he began to push buttons, John said, "I thought no one was to touch anything."

Rodney barely glanced at him before answering, "That was them."

John just nodded. Of course Rodney would touch. That's what Rodney did.

~~~

It didn't surprise John when Rodney found a ZPM. He'd probably given himself the most likely area where the ZPM would be located to search. John didn't begrudge him his find, though. The look of delight on his face gave John too much pleasure, and he was glad he'd been with him.

Zelenka came running when Rodney reported his find to the other scientist, and between the two of them, they determined that in all probability, the ZPM still held over fifty percent of its charge.

"Why don't you just take it out and look?" John asked curiously as they examined the data readouts and discussed theories of power consumption over the last ten millennia.

"Because, Colonel," Rodney said in his most acerbic voice, "we have over a dozen scientists busily working copying everything in the facility's database. It'd be a shame if by removing the ZedPM, we caused a catastrophic systems failure and ruined all their hard work now wouldn't it?"

John glared at him for making him feel stupid. Rodney countered with his most superior smirk.

The breach between the two men got even wider.

~~~

They were nearly done with both the exploration and the data download, and the Daedalus was due to arrive within thirty-six hours. All the scientists and several Marines were in the chair room when an ear-shattering klaxon sounded. John jumped to his feet from where he'd been sitting and ran over to Rodney who was frantically punching buttons.

"What happened?" John shouted over the deafening noise of the klaxon.

"Something set off the self-destruct sequence," Rodney shouted back. Rushing over to Zelenka who was also punching buttons in an attempt to halt the countdown, Rodney grabbed his arm and shouted, "Get everyone out of here. Now! Get in the jumpers and head back for Atlantis. If that ZedPM explodes, it'll destroy half this planet."

"Rodney, you-"

"I'm staying to try and stop this. You get everyone else out!" Giving the other scientist a shove, Rodney grabbed up a tool kit and ran toward the ZPM room. John pushed his way through the fleeing scientists until he found Teyla.

"You and Ronon get everyone onto the jumpers and get out of here," he said repeating what Rodney had told Zelenka. "I'm going to help Rodney. Don't wait for us."

"Colonel," Teyla said a frightened look on her face. "You should both come too."

John shook his head. "I'd have to knock Rodney out to make him leave, and I won't go without him." He put a hand on Teyla's arm. "Take care of everyone, Teyla." She nodded, blinking back tears. He turned and ran from the room, confident that she and Ronon would make sure that everyone else got away.

He found Rodney crouched down in front of the ZPM console, one of the panels opened and his hands touching crystals and circuits trying to find a way to shut off the countdown. John knelt down beside him, and Rodney glanced at him in surprise. "Get out of here, Colonel."

"No, Rodney, I'm staying. Now what do you need me to do?"

Rodney just shook his head and turned back to the console. He made a few more adjustments and then stood up, entering data at such a rapid pace that John though he'd suddenly grown a couple extra hands. Taking a second to read some information, his eyes suddenly widened, and he dropped down again. Reaching in he began to mutter, "Okay... here... wait... no... okay... wait, I need..." He turned to reach into his took kit, but John had already removed the tiny screwdriver-like tool that he'd anticipated Rodney would need. Slapping it into Rodney's hand as if he were an operating room nurse assisting a surgeon, he was rewarded by a small surprised smile from Rodney before the man turned and applied the tool to a series of connections deep inside the machine. When he was finished, he jumped back to his feet, punched in more codes and suddenly there was silence.

John held his breath as he stood and watched Rodney punch more buttons and read the data stream that followed. At last, his eyes closed and he slowly sank to the floor as his knees appeared to give way.

"Rodney?" John asked anxiously, kneeling down beside the hunched over scientist, his hand grasping Rodney's arm. Rodney lifted his face from where he'd buried it in his hands and looked at John, an expression of utter relief on his face.

"It's stopped. The self-destruct sequence has aborted."

John grinned and tightened his hand on Rodney's arm. Rodney grinned back. And then because he couldn't help himself, because they were still alive, John leaned forward and kissed Rodney.

Rodney jerked back and looked at John in shock. "What was that?"

John gave him a crooked grin. "I think they call that a kiss."

Rodney scowled and said, "I know what they call it, Colonel. I meant," his hand waved about in the air, "what was that?"

John sighed. "That was me finally catching a clue, Rodney."

"What?"

John slid his hand behind Rodney's neck, gently pulled him forward, and kissed him again. Rodney remained stiff under his hand, but he didn't pull back, and John felt him answer the kiss, if only a little. When the kiss ended, he pressed his forehead to Rodney's and said, "I've been an idiot, Rodney, and I'm sorry." He moved back just enough to look into Rodney's startled blue eyes. He leaned forward again, intending to press another kiss to Rodney's mouth, but this time, Rodney did pull back.

"I think you should call back the jumpers, Colonel," Rodney said, pulling out of John's arms and standing up. "I don't relish the idea of a thirty-mile hike back to the Stargate to let everyone know it's safe again."

John felt like he'd been punched in the gut, but he stood and tapped his ear piece. "Jumpers One and Two, this is Sheppard."

"Jumper One," came a reply.

"Jumper Two."

"You can come back," he said. "Dr. McKay's fixed it." He could hear the cheers when the pilots passed the news on to the passengers, and he couldn't help the swelling of pride he felt in the man who was now busy replacing the panel on the ZPM module.

Turning off his headset, he watched as Rodney stood again, took one more reading and then turned to face him. "Are they coming back?" Rodney asked.

John nodded. "On their way now."

"Okay, then we have to make this quick," he said, and before John could react, Rodney reached up and grabbed either side of John's head with his strong, warm hands and pulled his head forward for a kiss. It was a slow kiss at first, Rodney's slightly parted lips ghosted over John's lips, then Rodney's mouth opened a little more and the tip of his tongue darted out, flicking against John's lips. John moaned and opened his mouth and Rodney's tongue slid inside and began to slowly stroke John's tongue. John felt dizzy as all the blood in his body seemed to rush to his cock. Wrapping his arms tightly around Rodney's back, he thrust his hips forward. He gasped when he brushed against Rodney's equally hard cock and he broke the kiss so he could gasp in air.

"Oh, Jesus, Rodney," he said rotating his hips so that their cocks rubbed against each other. Rodney whimpered and then suddenly pulled back out of John's arms. When John reached for him again, Rodney held an arm straight out as he leaned upon his other arm that was braced against the ZPM console.

"John, stop," he said breathlessly. "It won't do either of our reputations any good to be found naked and writhing on the floor in here."

John looked around, suddenly remembering where they were. He grinned sheepishly at Rodney. "Oh, right. Good thinking."

Rodney smirked at him, and managed to stand straight. "That's why I have all the diplomas and you carry the gun."

John took one step forward which caused Rodney's eyes to widen a bit. Leaning in he whispered, "We'll see how many IQ points I can get you to drop when I finally get you into bed."

"Oh, god," Rodney moaned, and John grinned just as his earpiece crackled to life with the report that the jumpers had returned. The two men returned to the chair room and awaited the return of their colleagues.

While the scientists cautiously began to download the final section of data, John stood relaxed against a wall, a slight smile on his face as he watched his lover.

"You seem happy, Colonel," a soft voice said. Glancing at Teyla his smile widened. "Well, I'm still alive," he said. "I think that makes me pretty happy."

"It is indeed a cause for celebration," the Athosian woman said with a smile. "But I think there is more to it than that." She looked at him questioningly.

John glanced over to where Ronon stood watching them.

"Tell Ronon that I have at least one thing I won't have to regret."

"Oh, John," Teyla said warmly immediately understanding his meaning. Standing in front of him, she clasped his shoulders and pulled him down until their heads touched. Letting him go, her eyes gazed at him with happiness. "I am very happy for you and Rodney."

"Thanks, Teyla," he smiled, then frowned just a bit, "I hope you understand-"

"Neither Ronon nor I will say anything to anyone, John," she interrupted. "We will protect you and Rodney. You have our word on that."

John smiled at her in gratitude. "Thanks."

~~~

It was two long, frustrating weeks later. Rodney had insisted that he travel on the ship with the precious cargo, and John had had no choice but to stay behind and pilot the remaining scientists and equipment back to Atlantis. Since his arrival with the Daedalus and the drones, Rodney had been busy from early morning until long past midnight, and the two men had barely had time to share a meal together. Besides making sure that the drones were placed properly in their arsenal - a task that had taken days - and overseeing the data transfer, he and Zelenka had also installed the ZPM that they'd taken from the outpost.

There'd been a bit of a disagreement about what should be done with the extra Zero Point Module. Caldwell had wanted to take it back to Earth with him, but Rodney's impeccable, if rather acerbic, logic had prevailed, and the ZPM had remained in Atlantis.

They were now in one of the daily briefings they'd been having much to Rodney's annoyance. He'd rather have just been doing his work instead of keeping Weir, Caldwell and John up-to-date on what was going on. Today, however, he seemed almost happy, and John wondered what was up.

"Rodney, your report please," Elizabeth said, bringing the meeting to order.

"Actually," Rodney said, "Everything is going quite well for a change. The new Zero Point Module has been installed and is working perfectly, which means that the fully charged ZedPM has been disconnected and placed in reserve to power the shields if necessary." He couldn't help but toss a look of smug satisfaction Caldwell's way, John noted with amusement.

"The data transfer is almost complete," he continued, "and a second copy is being made for Col. Caldwell to take to the SGC. It's all raw data at this point, of course," he added. "It's going to take months of work to translate all the information we retrieved, but what we've gotten so far is very promising."

"Excellent, Rodney," Elizabeth said with a smile. "You know that if you need any help with the translation, I'll be happy to assist."

"Of course," Rodney said, smiling at her.

"How long do you think it will be before the copy I'm to take to Earth is ready, Doctor?" Caldwell asked. "We're scheduled to leave at the end of the week."

"No worries, Colonel. The copy will be ready in two days, I believe," Rodney said avoiding eye contact with anyone, which John found rather interesting. Then looking back up, he said rather defensively, "I could have it ready sooner, but I'm taking tonight off."

Elizabeth smiled at the scientist. "I'm glad to hear that, Rodney. I've been worried about you. You've been working night and day since you returned."

"It was necessary, Elizabeth."

"I know it was, Rodney, but you need rest and relaxation just like the rest of us mere mortals," she teased.

"Yes, well, I'm certainly looking forward to, uh, relaxation this evening," he said, carefully not glancing John's way. John felt the corner of his mouth quirk up, even as his heart started pounding. Finally!

A few more things were discussed and then the meeting broke up. As they left the room, John caught up with Rodney. "Twenty-one hundred hours?" he murmured.

"Okay," Rodney said, his voice breaking just a little. John grinned at him and walked away to return to his own duties.

~~~

John stood outside Rodney's door, his heart pounding and his throat dry. He raised his hand and knocked lightly. The door slid open immediately, and John looked into the face of a very nervous Rodney McKay.

"Hi," John said.

Rodney swallowed. "Hi," he answered back, staring at John as if he couldn't believe he was there.

"Can I come in?"

Rodney started and then hurriedly stepped back. "Sorry," he stammered. "Please, come in."

John entered and the door closed behind him. Glancing over at the panel, John reached out and pressed the privacy code. Turning back, he looked into Rodney's startled eyes. "You need to learn to lock your door occasionally, McKay," John said with a smile. "Never know who may just walk right in and make themselves at home."

Rodney looked at him and said with a seriousness that caused John to catch his breath, "No one's walked in here that I didn't want to be here."

"Yeah?" John said in a slightly breathless voice. "And how many has that been?"

"One."

It was that quiet word that did John in. Stepping forward, he wrapped his hand around the back of Rodney's neck and angled his head. Lowering his mouth, he laid claim to Rodney with lips and tongue. Rodney responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around John and surrendering completely.

When they broke the kiss, John whispered, "I want you so much, Rodney."

Rodney groaned. "God, I want you, too," he whispered."I couldn't wait any longer." Grabbing John's hand, he led him to the bed. Stopping beside it, he began to pull off his clothes, tossing his shirt haphazardly across the room, toeing off his shoes and working at undoing his pants. John watched for a few seconds, but soon followed suit. When they were both naked, Rodney asked, "Lights on or off."

"On," John said. "I want to see everything."

Rodney swallowed and grabbed the top of the covers, yanking them down. Taking hold of John's hand again, he tugged gently, pulling John down onto the mattress with him.

John sank into the bed and into Rodney's heat. "Oh god, yes," he moaned as he ran his hands over Rodney's warm skin. "This is what I've been wanting."

"It's always been here for you," Rodney said, arching into John's hands as they slid over his skin.

John lowered his head into Rodney's neck and held him tight. "I know, Rodney," he whispered. "I know." He pulled back, cupped the side of Rodney's face and kissed him; a slow gentle kiss that he hoped said all the things that John wasn't sure he was capable of vocalizing. When they broke apart again, he pulled Rodney even closer, just enjoying the feel of their bodies pressed together. There was plenty of time for sex. Right now, he needed the warmth.

Rodney seemed to understand, because he slid his leg between John's legs and wrapped his arms around him, holding him and stroking his skin lightly. They kissed again, another slow kiss, one expressing their emotions more than their need. Nothing had ever felt so right to John since the first time he'd flown.

Pulling back again, he said, "I'm sorry, Rodney."

Rodney frowned slightly, "For what?"

"For what happened that night."

"Oh. It's okay, John," Rodney said, but he didn't look at John when he said it.

"No, it's not," John said firmly, grasping Rodney's chin and gently forcing him to look up. "I came here because I needed your body heat. I was so cold, Rodney, just like I'd been in that cell, and I needed you to make me warm." He paused and Rodney stared into his eyes, not speaking.

"I was wrong to run away like I did. You were giving me what I needed, and I was too damned scared to accept it." He ran his hand over Rodney's shoulder and pulled him in for another kiss. "Can you forgive me?"

Rodney pulled back and rolled his eyes. "Colonel Sheppard, you do realize that you and I are currently naked and in my bed, don't you?"

John's eyes sparkled, and he felt a little relieved that Rodney had chosen to lighten the atmosphere. "Yes, Dr. McKay, I'm very much aware of that."

"Do you really think you'd be here if I hadn't forgiven you the minute you kissed me back at the outpost?"

John grinned, relief washing over him, and kissed Rodney again. "You're too easy, McKay," he teased.

"Maybe," Rodney said, and John could see that he was being very serious right now. "But I've wanted you for too long. And if you've finally come to your senses, I'm certainly not going to turn you down." The last was said with a teasing light in his eyes.

John smiled again, and then leaned forward for another kiss. The kiss intensified until Rodney gave John's shoulder a little shove and pushed him onto his back. He trailed his lips from John's mouth, across his jaw and down his neck, giving him light teasing kisses, licks, and nibbles that began to drive John crazy with need. And then Rodney began to touch him. His hand slid down John's side and up again, just a light touch, just enough to make John burn.

John gasped and pressed into the touch, wanting it, needing it. The hand slid down his side again and then kept going past his hip and down the outside of his thigh. While Rodney's mouth was busy kissing its way across John's collarbone, his fingers started a light pass up the inside of John's thigh until they came to rest at the juncture where thigh met hip. He rested his hand then, his knuckles barely brushing against John's balls, and John knew he was going to go insane if Rodney didn't continue touching him.

"Please, Rodney," he begged thrusting up his hips. Rodney ignored his pleas instead sliding his hand down just as his mouth located John's nipple. A ragged sob of pleasure escaped John's throat as Rodney began to suck on the sensitive peak. When the pleasure almost became too intense, Rodney abandoned that nipple only to turn his attention to the other and John bucked again. He could feel himself leaking, and he was so hard it was almost painful.

Rodney's fingers slid back up his thigh and John once again pressed up, wanting to badly to feel the strong warm hand wrapped around his cock.

"Rodney, please; god, please," he heard himself begging. Rodney lifted his head from where he'd been sucking John's nipple and asked, "What do you want me to do?"

"Anything, everything," he said desperately. "Touch me."

Rodney smiled. "I am touching you, John."

John closed his eyes in frustration. "No. Jesus, Rodney, my dick."

"Oh," Rodney said. "You want me to touch your dick?" and John opened his eyes, lifted his head, and glared at his amused lover.

"Like this?" Rodney asked, and lightly drew his fingers up the long shaft. John whimpered, and dropped his head back to the pillow, closing his eyes again.

"Or maybe like this?" Rodney asked, and wrapped his hand around John and gave a long, slow pull. John gasped and bucked in Rodney's hand.

"Or maybe, you meant like this," and John felt Rodney move until his hot wet mouth slid over the tip of his cock. John couldn't breathe as Rodney's tongue lightly flicked over the head of his cock, lapping at the slit and encircling the sensitive head. Then Rodney took more in, and the hand he had wrapped around the shaft began to pump as Rodney sucked. John's hips came off the bed and his breath came out in desperate gasps as he neared his climax. As much as he wanted to hold off, Rodney's tortuous foreplay and his own long abstinence conspired against him and he came in hard pulsing waves of pleasure.

When he was done, he felt Rodney press a kiss to his belly and then move up to wrap himself around him again.

"Was that okay?" Rodney asked, and John could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

John opened his eyes and looked at Rodney. "I'd let you know, but unfortunately my brains just shot out of my cock and I can't form sentences right now."

Rodney got a smug look on his face. "That good, huh?"

John pulled his head down and kissed him, tasting himself in Rodney's mouth. "Damn straight," he said. Then running his hand down Rodney's side, he asked rather shyly. "What do you want me to do?"

Rodney moved away long enough to pull the covers up over them, then he settled next to him, his arm slipping over John's waist. "I'm okay right now."

"Rodney," John said.

"No, really," Rodney insisted. "Except for the wet spot I'm lying in, I'm good. I, uh, came when you did."

"Really?"

"I told you I've wanted you for a long time. Just having you come in my mouth was all I needed."

John felt his face heating up. Rodney lifted up to look at him and raised an amused eyebrow. "You've never had anyone come from giving you a blowjob before?"

"I'm pretty sure, no," John said.

Rodney grinned and settled back down, then sighed. "I'm going to have to change my sheets before I go to sleep. I hate sleeping in the wet spot."

"Maybe we should keep a towel on hand the next time," John suggested sleepily.

"Mmm, I like the sound of that," Rodney sighed.

"What, a towel?"

"Uh uh," Rodney said on the verge of sleep. "'Next time'."

The End