_______________
Prague
She
misses him. I see it in her eyes sometimes. She misses her daddy.
I never told her about meeting up with him in that
Nazi submarine. I just let her think I got out all by myself. If I had told her, I would have had to tell her about him siring
that new boy, Lawson, and that would have hurt my dark princess. See, she still thinks she was the last one he made, and that's
special to her.
It's dark now. Dru's all excited to get to the hunt.
The people of Prague are such easy pickings.
_______________
Reunion
He's here.
I can't believe it. Angelus is here helping the bloody Slayer! When did he become one of
the sodding white hats? When did he turn his coat? Yeah, I know about the soul and all. We ate the gypsies that cursed him,
didn't we? But still, a soul's no excuse for helping the Slayer.
I'm not looking forward to telling Drusilla. I have
to tell her, don't I? Can't have her running into him and thinking her daddy's back, now can I? What if he hurts her?
Wonder
if Darla knows he's here? She'd sort him out straightaway.
_______________
Love's Labor Lost
"You taste like ashes," she says.
I look at her desperately.
Why doesn't she understand? I did it for us. I don't care about the ruddy Slayer. I just wanted things to be the way they
were before Sunnydale. Why doesn't she understand?
She turns from me and walks away. She no longer wants me. What am
I to do? I feel lost, alone. I did it for us. Why doesn't she understand?
I feel as if I've been staked in the heart.
I sit here sobbing and the pain envelopes me.
She's left me.
I'll never love another woman.
______________
What She Deserves
I'll kill them. The whole sodding lot. Soon as I get this thing out
of my head. How could this've happened to me? I'm the Big Bad for fuck's sake! It's her fault, I know it is. She can pretend
she doesn't know what those Initiative blokes are up to, but I know she's behind it. Her and that big stupid soldier boy of
hers. And just what the bloody hell does she see in that prat anyway?
Well, one of these days, I'll be free of this
chip. One of these days, I'll give the bitch what she deserves.
_______________
Every Night
The dreams come every night. Always different and always the same. In
a hundred different ways I save the Nibblet. I take her to Buffy all safe and whole and uncut. The Scoobies gather around
me with hugs and tears and pats on the back. The Watcher solemnly shakes my hand. Buffy gathers her little sis into her arms
and weeps as she holds her.
And then she turns to me. And she smiles. She walks up to me, takes my face in her hands
and leans in to kiss me.
And then I wake up.
And then I cry.
_______________
Apology
"If you wanted to hurt Buffy, congratulations. It worked."
I
didn't want to, Nibblet. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just wanted something to make the feelings stop! I never meant to touch
Anya. I never meant to cause Buffy pain.
"Didn't take long, did it?"
But you told me to move on, Buffy! How
could what happened have hurt you if you don't love me?
"Congratulations. It worked."
"Didn't take long."
The
whiskey sours in my stomach and the words whirl around in my head until I want to scream.
Maybe I should just go apologize
to her.
_______________
Thoughts Before Dying (Again)
Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't met
up with Dru in that alley. Would I have married? Had children? Would I have been happy, or would I have died a lonely old
man surrounded only by scraps of badly written poetry?
And sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if
we'd never come to Sunnydale. Would I still be with Dru, fighting and fucking and laughing my way though the world until someone
had a real good day?
Probably.
But I would never have become a hero.
Thank you, Buffy.
______________
Dragonslayer
"Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon," he says.
Of
course he does. Always wants to be the sodding hero. Thinks he's Saint bloody George. Well I'm a hero too. Even he said so.
Maybe I should slay the dragon. Do something before he's done it.
Still, it's his war. And he's head of the family
now just like he was when it was the four of us; me, Dru, Darla and him. I loved him then. Just a little.
I love him
now, too. Just a little.
So maybe I'll let him slay the dragon...
Nah.
