I opened my journal this morning to see the scripture verse written out for me by a precious friend over the weekend.  Isaiah 50:4-  The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary.  He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.   

 

He wakens me morning by morning.  

 

Yes He does.   This morning was no different.   He wants to meet with me.   

 

But fatigue overwhelmed me.  

 

I was tired, but not too tired to turn on the computer to check emails, or glance at the news for the morning.  Not too tired to look at photos, but too tired to read the word and get into His presence. 

 

I recalled Linda Reber's message on Sunday; that she was woken by the Lord but she was too tired.   She missed Him.  

 

I took that thought with me and went back to bed.  Lying there but hearing in my heart  "Don't you miss Me?  Will you miss Me?"  And I had to wake up.  

 

Yes I miss Him but I dont want to miss Him.   I had a glorious weekend with Him but how quickly I forget my Lord. 

 

I got up to ask forgiveness and I heard this in my heart  "I will give you the desire of your heart"   Psalm 37:4

 

As I thought on this,  I felt there was a deeper word here than our shallow desires.   Doesnt this word sound good?  Doesnt it sound Awesome?    He will give us the desire of our heart?  

 

But what if the desire of my heart is to sleep in?  

 

What if the desire of my heart was to receive more email? 

 

What if the desire of my heart is my home? 

 

What if the desire of my heart is attention?  

 

If these things are our desire, He will provide them, according to His word, but it will be these things that overwhelm us and stand in the way of us receiving from Him and being with Him.

These things will overwhelm us in our pursuit of them.   And then we form excuses of being overwhelmed or busy.  

 

Lord become my Desire.

Overwhelm me with your presence once again.

Set my heart and fire and

Consume me

Lord be my First and Last

Surround me with your songs of deliverance

Burn away my past and be present. 

 

Today's devotional psalm was from Psalm 22.   12Many bulls have surrounded me;
         Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me.
    13They open wide their mouth at me,
         As a ravening and a roaring lion.
    14I am poured out like water,
         And all my bones are out of joint;
         My heart is like wax;
         It is melted within me.
    15My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
         And my tongue cleaves to my jaws;
         And You lay me in the dust of death.
    16For dogs have surrounded me;
         A band of evildoers has encompassed me;
         They pierced my hands and my feet.

 

I didn't feel quite like David this morning, but I could have. 

 

The desires of our heart are like the Bulls of Bashan or the dogs that have surrounded David, or even the band of evil doers.      If, or since, we have enemies that will surround us that comes not from our desire,  why would we open the door to more, via our own desires?  

 

Something will surround us.  Something will consume us.  Something will overwhelm us.   

 

I want Songs of Deliverance to surround me.    (Ps 32:7)

I want to be hemmed in by the Lord  (Ps 139:5 NIV)

I want His Righteousness to go before me and His glory to be my rear guard  (Is 58:8)

I want the zeal for His house to consume me (Ps 69:9, 119:139)

 

I woke up to repent of my going back to bed and began to praise the Lord and thank Him for His word, that He has given me an instructed tongue and His word sustains the weary.  He awakens me morning by morning.    There will be bulls, there will be dogs,  there will be bands of evil doers,  but my ignoring His call to come,  automatically calls for the bulls and whistles for the dogs.     He will give us the desires of our heart.