Funny and Unusual Equations
For the sake of sanity, the use of calculus is kept to a strict minimum--THANK GOD!
 
 

Just the Right Amount of Homework

A=N-N

    Just plug any old value into N and get the result in A!  It works perfectly every time!
 
 

Comparing a Good Event Against a Bad One

F=|E1|*|E2|

    Before using this equation, we have to assign a value to an event.  We use a scale of -10,000 to +10,000, with 0 being neutral.  Using this scale, the best possible thing that can happen to you on Earth would be assigned a value of 10,000, while the worst thing that can happen to you would have a value of -10,000.  Suddenly getting rich or finding a perfect spouse would yield values around 200-400.  Losing a spouse or going to prison for a year may yield values of -200 to -400.  Getting a massage without music may yield a value of around 30.  During boring work for less than an hour may yield a value of -5 or even -10.  Here are some examples of how this equation works for me:

    Getting a massage (over clothing)        30
    Watching Jeopardy (I HATE it!)         -20
    Interpretation of this equation:             Getting a massage is 600 times better than
                                                              watching Jeopardy!

    Please note that this equation works only with values equal to or less than -1 and with values equal to or greater than +1.  In addition, one of the variables must have a positive value while the other must be negative.  Later, this may be changed to a step function to help out with values between -1 and +1.

    As for values beyond -10,000 and +10,000, these would apply to eternal destiny.  Only going to Heaven would yield a value greater than 10,000, and only those living there can accurately give you such a value.  Likewise, only going to Hell would give you a value worse than -10,000.
 
 

Spiritual Version of Ohm's Law

V=I*(RS+RR)

OR

V=I*(RS+RA)

OR

V=I*(RS+RA+RN)

    Like electricity, reiki / spiritual energy likes to take the "easiest path across".  However, in a no-touch society or when there is no other people to help you, you are all ALONE unless God is with you.  Even then, things can be so bad that you may get to where you CAN'T feel God's presence, let alone His love.  There may also be negativity which makes the path to healing even more difficult.  Here is how it works:

    V="Voltage" or "power" that God must put out in order to achieve a desired effect
    I="Desired current" across the main "load", which is your spirit
    RS=Resistance of your spirit itself (not a bad thing here, but more like "electrical resistance")
    RR=Resistance of a reiki practitioner or hands-on healer (again, not a bad thing, but more
            like "electrical resistance"--no "perfect conductor") -- Its value is usually very small,
            much like going through a wire.
    RA=Resistance through air itself (again, much like "electrical resistance")
    RN=Resistance due to negativity.  This is a bad one!  This is resistance both in an
            "electrical sense" AND in a spiritual sense.  This can be negativity in the
            the recipient and/or in the reiki practitioner (can be added together).  Most
            commonly, it is negativity in the recipient.

    When doing reiki / hands-on healing, the first equation above is ideal.  Because RR has such a small value, it is virtually negligible and can practically be safely left out of the equation.  Since there is no distance of air to go through, you are not in DIRECT CONTACT, and as a result, a much smaller "voltage" (energy from God) is required to "charge" or "power" the "load" (RS), which is your spirit.

    Now when you are alone (no other people around) and you need spiritual healing, you now have another thing to combat--going through air itself!  Unfortunately, RA tends to have a VERY LARGE value.  When this is the case, a MUCH larger "voltage" (V) is "required" to achieve the same effect across RS, which is your spirit.  However, this goes back to the fact that through God, all things are possible.  It is much harder, though.  This is the second equation above.

    Now in a very bad situation, such as chronic loneliness, coupled with lack of love and lack of touch, negativity now also has a way of sneaking its stinkin' nose in here.  Unfortunately, the value of RN can be very large as well, if not larger than RA!  When you combine RA AND RN, GOD HELP YOU!!!  Here, God must crank up the "voltage" (spiritual energy) higher than ever in order to achieve a desired result on your spirit.  This is the third equation above.  This is a very bad situation, but again, all things are possible through God.

    Are are a few oddities to these equations.  Inside the parentheses, you may add RM and RT, both of which hopefully will have "negative" values, thus decreasing the whole sum within the parentheses.  RM is "resistance" (again, more like "electrical resistance" due to music in the environment.  If the music is "conductive", RM will have a negative value, meaning that it is actually improving conduction of holy energy.  RT is the "resistance" (again, more like "electrical resistance") of the human touch itself.  Again, this often has a negative value, since it is actually improving conduction of holy energy.  A particularly ideal form of these equations is the the following:

V=I*(RS+RR+RM+RT+RP)

In the above equation, RM, RT, and RP will ideally have "negative" values, which decreases the whole resistance section (inside the parentheses), thus further decreasing the value of V, which is the "voltage" or "energy" that is required of God in order to achieve the effect on RS, which is your spirit.  However, if the wrong type(s) of music is used (i.e. hard-rock, heavy-metal), RM will now have a "positive" value, meaning that it is adding to the "power requirements" from God.  Likewise, if someone has a "bad touch", RT will also have a "positive" value, thus adding to the "power requirements" from God.  RP is the "resistance" (again, more like "electrical resistance") of prayer.  RP almost never has a "positive" value, for if it did, prayer could hinder healing!  Its value is almost always "negative" or zero (no prayer).  When "negative", it is decreasing the whole resistance thing in parentheses, thus making God's job easier.  In summary, this means that if you do hands-on reiki, use good music, nice touch, and add prayer, the only real "load" here is RS, which is your spirit itself.  In this scenario, God has a particularly easy time healing you!  If you really wanna get more "technical", you can also add RMT, which is the "resistance" due to the massage table that the recipient is on.  Again, this should have a "negative" value (i.e. comfortable table), which also decreases the total "resistance package" above.  If you really wanna get even more precise, you can now add the absolute value of the temperature deviation from the idea.  This is because being too hot or too cold makes things less conductive, thus more "resistance".  This would be +|RTD|.

    Finally, even RS is variable!  Its value is somewhat inversely proportional to how open you are to healing.
 

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