Smiths Falls has the coolest ever railroad bridge. A frictionless rocker design of 200 years ago. Really ingenious. We are back in limestone Canada. The terrain is flattening. Today we went only 18 miles in 9 hours and spend more time waiting for the flights to get turned around than we did cruising. But it didn't rain. Hot and muggy, though. The canal remains busy with most boats having weird names. Rivet! The deer flies are out. These aren't the usual "flying sponge" house fly - they're vicious carnivores. During an attack by one fly, the crew's defensive tactics caused a slight groin pull. That's a hockey type injury usually involving goalies. With those thoughts you can form a mental image of the event. In fact, it was one of those beasts that caused the loss of the anchor last season (subsequently recovered). At one lock where we stayed overnight, the crew fed bread crust to a Mama Duck and three tiny baby ducks. The next morning we and three other boats entered the first lock of a flight of three and there was Mama Duck and the kids locking through with us. Mama jumped the gun at lock two and found herself in lock three while the kids were stuck in lock two with us. There was an awful peeping and cheeping that got everyone's attention and went on until Mama flew back up and serenity was restored to lock two. They completed the lock through with us but couldn't keep up when we had open water ahead. Approaching Ottawa, the land use gradually changes from farming to rural to suburban to city to high-rise commercial to city center (make that "centre" here in Canada). Ottawa is a beautiful city on the banks of the Ottawa River with the Rideau Canal and its adjoining park-like features run right through the centre of town. We are moored in what they call "The World's Largest Skating Rink" (winter only) near Parliament Hill, handy to the cultural centers and shopping. There is a carillon just across the canal that ding-dongs a riff every 15 minutes. We wonder how late it stays up. The city has lots of people and many different languages are heard. The middle east is very well represented. The guard was changed on Parliament Hill with great ceremony as it is every day at 10 am. Typical British-style troop and stomp with red coats and big furry hats. The band had over 50 pieces including 7 bagpipes who were mostly and mercifully drowned out by the rest. I think those pipes are why my ancestors invented single-malt. The band played military things at various times in the half-hour event. One tune was "The Saint Louis Blues March" - every note of the syncopated swing arrangement of Glen Miller or was it Tommy Dorsey? Hey, I dig it! Exiting Ottawa at the flight of eight locks where the crew lost a shoe in lock six (no information concerning the loss was offered and I knew better than to pry), we cruised the Ottawa River toward Montreal. Big, wide river through low, wooded hills with only two locks in 135 miles. Nice but too much of the same scenery repeated mile after mile. The provincial border runs down the center of the river - Quebec appropriately on the left and Ontario on the right. We stayed to the right most of the way. Gas was 97 cents (per liter) at a small out-of-the-way dock but we decided to wait for a more competitive market at Montreal. The Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue district lies at the south-west end of Montreal. Fuel is $1.39. A river walk runs along the quay with two dozen or more restaurants, bumper-to-bumper. It has a kind of European feel. We stayed the night. Many restaurants were completely empty except for staff. The only real action was at the hot wings ($5.95) and Budweiser ($10.95) place. Budweiser! A jazz joint had a tolerable trio where people sat at tables and the wait-staff stood around. The music stopped at a reasonable 10:30. This must be one of the few places on Earth where live jazz can be heard. Good for them. No mosquitoes, the crew is delighted. The dual language business in Canada is a considerable anal discomfort. English speaking Canadians are either the most patient people or the most frustrated. Maybe both. Everything must be presented in two languages except in Quebec where French is sufficient and English is discouraged. Some years ago there was a regulation in Quebec that business signs were required to be French only with no English save the name of the establishment. This incredibility actually existed at one time and it may still. The consummate Quebec boater: He - big belly over a small Speedo (note: Friends don't let friends wear a Speedo.), heavy gold chain necklace, short hair on head, max hair on body. She: Thin or even skinny, long hair dark or blond, no body hair, simple black dress (on a boat, yet), silver sandals; and so far, no topless bikinis thus proof that this is not really France. Accessory - Pedigreed dog sized in reverse ratio to the length of the boat. Boat - Sea Ray Sundancer, and none other, in the largest affordable size or larger. The Sundancer model is a sleek and beautiful thing that looks like it is going 50 knots even while tied to the dock. The design looks like a Cigarette boat with a small cuddy aft. A reverse sheer with a great long, convex foredeck makes bow line handling hazardous so most crews scoot about on their butt and try not to go overboard because such things as ugly rails and lifelines cause a substantial loss of points. There is no anchor on that long sweeping foredeck but the boater could probably come up with one if you were to offer a detailed description of the thing and were willing to wait long enough for a thorough search of the craft. The cabin is a wonderfully upholstered fiberglass cave. Forget looking outside because ports to see out of can really ruin those beautiful lines so they are kept to a minimum and sized likewise. You have to leave the cabin to enjoy the scenery so try to find room in that cuddy in the back near the helm station (and the exhaust noise). The curvaceous, high-style stern doesn't make the stern line handler's job easy either. Sea Ray makes a nice cruiser of more classic layout with very modern lines but with usable windows and ports and a workable foredeck but they are seldom seen here. The discerning Quebec boater would rather lose an inch of his......er, ego than to be seen in such a thing. Remember the Concorde? A beauty to behold but miserably impractical. To some, appearances are everything and if Alphonse has one, Gaston must also. Rivet! Montreal is an island surrounded by shallow water. Buoyage is adequate but care must be taken. Carefree boating it is not. We carefully made our way to the 35' deep big ship channel. At the first huge (really HUGE) ship lock we and other boats were told the lock operations had ceased while the staff had lunch. This must be France! For the slightest moment the crew was rendered speechless but only for the slightest moment. I cautioned forbearance lest the staff get in a Gallic snit and go on strike. We were innocent bystanders to a bit of French drama from two other boats at the Montreal Upper Lock. The same thing occurred at the Lower Lock. Then another small French fiasco at the fuel dock of a marina down river. We were only slightly inconvenienced but this type event is irritating to persons of a more ordered mentality. The crew would rather deal with bugs - it is acceptable to smash the obnoxious bastards. Leaving at the end of the ship channel, we were in the St. Lawrence Seaway with a 2 knot current making excellent time and fuel economy. Hanging a right at Sorel put us in the Richeleu River heading south toward Lake Champlain. The river is mostly French-Rural in architecture. Small villages, each with its own tall steeple, and well-tended river front properties simulate a float through Europe. Very pleasant. The crew remains reasonably well-behaved and the captain is well fed.
