Daffynitions: humorous definitions of words.
Sniglet: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should. Created
by Rich Hall.
Thanks to Half Price Books, I've confirmed that Rich Hall created Sniglets, and published at least three books: "More Sniglets", "Unexplained Sniglets of the Universe" and "When Sniglets Ruled the Earth". (The first book is probably "Sniglets".)
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,
of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the
vacuum one more chance.
(George Carlin may not have ever defined it this way, but he did do a comedy
routine that covered this exact same subject.)
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
FLINK (flink) v. The act of turning on your car's turn signal just long enough for it to blink for half a second.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Got a Daffynition? Please send them to me!
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Last Update: December 1, 2001.