Poor Little Bird!
by Mr. Pw and others
I was reading this book last night in bed, the one called
"Debt-proof Living." Kj put Little Bird on my chest.
"He wants to read the book too" she said. "Little Bird owes Kwame a lot of money."
"What?" I said. "Why?"
"Kwame subsidized Little Bird's trip to Hawaii."
"Oh." It made sense.
..:.. ..:..
"Kwame is feeling the need to beef up his online presence... any ideas? He suffers from S.M.E.E. (Sock Monkey Exposure Envy). He thinks he should take another trip - since he's also making so much interest off of Little Bird's finance charges."
- kj
"Me famus!
Kwame!
Best Monkey!
Best Monkey!
More handsome than other monkey!
Handsome!
Kwame!
Kwame has movie!
(hmph)
Go places...
Famus!"
..:.. ..:..
It seems to only get worse. Little Bird has had several sleepless nights. He uses his little felt wings to hold his aching head.
"His debt is making him really sad" kj says. "Kwame threatened him."
"What? That's awful." Kwame has always made himself the superior one. But mostly, he is a troublemaker. We were encouraged for a while when he began to become a big brother to the other little animals, showing them around and showing them the ropes. I think the true motivation behind these acts of kindness has something to do with control, and power. We did some asking around the apartment, and it turns out the story goes back to November.
In November, Kj and I were deciding on which animal could go with us on Honeymoon to Hawaii. We both sort of unanimously decided that Monkey ought not go. For a couple reasons, including his attitude and his bulk. So the next runner up was Little Bird, who is a good traveller. Problem is, this was a huge blow to Monkey's ego, and I think he justified the decision as one about cost -- he wanted the other animals to think he wasn't chosen because he was too expensive to go. And that therefore, any animal to go to Hawaii would have to pay a lot monies--I mean, money.
Poor Little Bird. Until recently, he didn't even know what money was. Kwame told him all about the money thing, about debt, about bad credit ratings, about the dangers of loan consolidation schemes, and it really shook him up. The awful thing here is that the money part was a lie. Little Bird went to Hawaii, and it was free to him. Kwame made it something expensive, and now Little Bird is overwhelmed with debt.
"You need to talk to Kwame about this" kj says as we pat Little Bird soothingly.
"OK, maybe we should ground him. Would that be enough?"
"Not sure. This is turning out to be a bigger problem than we expected."
..:.. ..:..
Fuzzy animals hate small dark rooms. When Obi's bad we lock him the laundry room with the lights off for 5 minutes. Maybe Kwame needs to be put in solitary confinement too?
- Carole
..:.. ..:..
Thanks for the suggestion, Carole! We hadn't thought of that yet. We've been using that "dark, time-out" method on our 7 month old baby cockatiel - who has a persistent screaming habit. So Kwame may get some "time-out" as well.
Kwame recently held a big pow-wow with all the animals. I have yet to find out what was discussed (read: how they were intimidated). Kwame expressed to us that he wanted a crown and a scepter, along with a "high chair" (throne) with a PlayStation console built into it. I don't know where he's getting these ideas from. Thanks for your input!
kj
..:.. ..:..
We decided we needed to show Little Bird what "free" is all about. We took him to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and we told him it was free. "Just like that, Little Bird. No money needed. We pay, and you come along." He is starting to understand what we call Grace. "Grace is just what he needed" says Clinton.
..:.. ..:..
Little Bird pretty much wants everything for free now. He thinks he's getting a Blackberry, because it feels good for his feet. His feet can type on the Blackberry, and he likes that. little bird likes his picture on your webpage. he thinks kwame looks smaller and less meniacal. he likes his story. he says that he knows what "free" means now. he wants to know if peanut can have stuff for free too.
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