Mr. Might-Be-Right

Jane interrogates a prospective suitor with a pre-date quiz.

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This short story is presented for personal entertainment only. Commercial and all other use is expressly prohibited.

(c) 2010-2020 Robert Horseman, All rights reserved.

Jane sat alone in a booth at her favorite coffee shop, her eyes glued on the door. By her own estimation she was only moderately cute, but others had told her that, taken as a whole, she was quite nice looking. Nevertheless, at twenty-seven she felt burned out from the dating scene, and now prayed that Mr. Right would sashay in the door, sit down at her table, and simply captivate her. Fat chance of that happening, she thought, but here goes nothing. Again. Five minutes late, Mr. Might-Be-Right walked into the coffee shop. Brian was an acquaintance of medium build, sandy brown hair, and a killer smile. As far as dating was concerned, she had finally decided to cut to the chase and only date those that passed her new dating quiz. She had set up this lunch with Brian to try out her new system. He waved, went up to the counter and ordered an espresso, then slipped into the seat opposite her. His smile was mixed with a puzzled expression. “To what do I owe my good fortune today?” he asked. “You declined all my previous invitations, and now you’ve invited me to lunch. Have you had a change of heart?” Jane shot Brian an appraising look. “Not exactly, Tarzan.” Brian raised an eyebrow. “Tarzan? Should I assume that to be a term of endearment?” “Not exactly. This lunch is a test of sorts, to see if we have any chemistry and anything in common before we go on a real date. At this point you and I have about as much in common as Tarzan and Jane. Until you prove otherwise, you’re a Tarzan.” Brian seemed to deflate. “Well, at least I can take solace in the fact that you asked me here, so I assume you think there’s a chance. What are the ground rules of this test?” Jane pulled out a small sheet of paper. “I have a short list of questions. You answer them. If I don’t like your answers, we don’t take this any further.” “A little harsh, isn’t it. Don’t I get to ask questions? And what if I don’t answer them all right?” She replied, “I can be fair. You can ask me anything you like. For most of my questions there are lots of right answers, although there are some questions that have only one right answer for me. Shall we begin?” Brian looked like he was about to sit for a final exam. He swallowed hard and said, “Fire away…” Looking down at her paper, Jane considered which question to ask first. Might as well get the big one out of the way. “I do not want to waste time with casual dating anymore,” she said. “If I decide to date you, then you need to be in it for possible marriage and children.” “Ouch”, said Brian. “You must think I’m a player or something. While I admit that I have had my fun, I rarely if ever considered my past relationships to be casual.” “You haven’t answered my question.” “Right, it’s just that no one’s asked me that straight-out before. A question like that has a lot of potential baggage attached.” Jane started to ask what he meant by baggage, but he cut her off. “Maybe the word baggage was a poor choice. I would like to use one of my lifelines and change the word to consequences.” Jane smiled for the first time. “Fine. Consequences then. Do those consequences scare you? “Of course they scare me. Marriage and children are life changing events. Some of my married friends have told me that being married is something you have to work at. And had they known how much work having kids was going to be, they might not have had them to begin with. I know, I know, I still haven’t answered your question. To be completely honest I do want those things, but they scare me.” “And what will it take to make you not scared?” Brian considered for a moment. “Just one thing. It just has to be with the right woman.” Jane nodded. “Congratulations, good answer.” Brian said “I guess I know how you feel about the subject. Next question?” Jane looked down at her paper. She was beginning to feel bad about the interrogation, but decided that it was still worth the effort. “Do you have any medical conditions or medical history that I should be aware of, or that might be passed on to any children we might have?” “Ouch again. You punch hard.” He was smiling though, so Jane relaxed a bit. “No family I know of is completely free of health issues. My family is no different. Let’s see, my grandmother died of breast cancer, my Dad has arthritis, and my knees make noise when I work out too hard. Oh, and I have some allergies too. That’s basically it though. Your turn.” “Fair enough. Since you’re being completely honest, I will be too. The women in my family tend to, ahh, grow a size or ten as they get older, although I’m far more active than most of my family. My grandfather had a stroke when he was 81 and died of it. And in the winter I have a hard time keeping my hands warm. You would have to be willing to help me with that last part.” Brian chuckled. “I might be willing to provide some assistance in that last area, provided there were, shall we say, some compensation.” Jane turned bright red, then decided to improvise. “Ah yes, and that leads into my next question. Brian, how big are your… feet?” Now it was Brian’s turn to blush. “I take a 10½ extra wide shoe. You will have to discover any further anatomical dimensions for yourself. Assuming, of course, that I pass this test.” He glanced directly at Jane’s boobs and with a hungry look said, “And while we’re on the subject, might I inquire…” With a tight lipped smile Jane said, “No you may not. You should know that I have no intention of rushing into any dimensional comparisons.” “Hey, you brought it up. Next question?” “Ok, next is… what are your career plans?” “My career plans, better known as my ability to support a family. Well, I have an engineering degree, and I presently work for a company that specializes in shore side facility development. I’ll never be rich, but engineering pays reasonably well. And it’s projected to be a growth industry, so I don’t expect to be laid off for the foreseeable future. And you?” “You’ve been honest with me, which I very much appreciate. I had a few years of community college before my funds dried up and I had to take a job to support myself. I want to go back, but haven’t found the money and time yet. I was studying to be an interior designer, and someday I hope to return to that. But for right now my biological clock is ticking, and I want to start a family. Honest enough for you?” “Definitely. In fact, I’ve never heard a woman be quite that honest. Do you have any more questions on your list?” “One more. What interests do you have that are not exclusively male oriented? In other words, what do you like to do that I might also like?” “Well, aside from what we were almost discussing before, as for sports I enjoy kayaking, skiing of the downhill variety, ultimate frisbee, rollerblading, and windsurfing. I’m not much of a sports watcher, so please don’t tell the men’s club. They’d probably throw me out. Let’s see, this is where I say I like sunset walks on the beach, romantic escapes to bed & breakfast places, and tropical vacations. All true. I also enjoy camping and hiking. I’m not much of a sightseer, unless it’s to go somewhere to do other things I enjoy. Anything in there sound good to you?” “Sure, I like rollerblading and skiing at least. And I wouldn’t mind trying kayaking and windsurfing if you’re willing to teach me. Believe it or not, my brother owns a hang gliding school, and I really love it. The freedom is unbelievable. You’ll have to try it someday.” “I just might. So, if that’s your last question, can I ask you one more?” Jane felt a bit uneasy with the change in roles, but she said “Okay, shoot.” “Am I still Tarzan?” Jane thought for a moment, and then with a hopeful look she said “No, but I am hoping you’ll be my Brian.”

•••••The End •••••