I had A wonderful, wonderful weekend last week. Intense and short - I will remember every minute.

Ben & Ashley's wedding in Carrboro / Pittsboro
or Bubbles, Bells & Garter

Synopsis:
I drove over Friday afternoon, we had dinner that night. I spent the night at Ben's and the ceremony commenced Saturday afternoon at 3p. Drove back right after the joyful event weary and happily blasted with emotion.

It was terrific.

Some Details:
A week before, Ben called and asked if I wouldn't mind giving a ride to the maid of honor - Stephany P - who lives in Cullowhee. No problem there, it's on the way.

I'd been prepping for a few weeks actually, letting the excitement slowly build - Tires & the Happy Car Treatment (with oil scrub) and a precisely timed coif. Dear Sharon Hunt has been cutting my hair - and my family's when they are in local residence - for 20 years. She sat down crying happy when I told her about Ben's good fortunes.

I cleaned & ironed my clothes so's I could have some variety to pick from. I carried black and khaki trousers and dark red, canary bird yellow and pink shirts. Black or tan shoes intending to let the bride choose. She went with pink, khaki & tan - sharp.

Friday morning I got all my stuff together, watered the plants, put out a dole of birdseed, counted fingers & toes, locked the house up and took off into the wild blue yonder - a beautiful travel day - good sign.

I filled the gas tank on the way to Sylva and met my rider at the appointed rendezvous near WallyWorld in Cullowhee. Stephany - an attractive young English/Enviro sci major. We had nice conversation when she wasn't nodding off from the exhaustion of a previous week of full time employment and final exams.

Every so often a change of lanes would roll her sleeping head to one side or the other - but she didn't waken. A deep slumber for sure.

We stopped for lunch @ noon in Burlington at 5 Guys" - a neato burger/fries place - kind of like the Varsity Drive-In in Atlanta because they have big sacks of taters & stuff piled around the place and kind of like the Saturday Night Live Greek cheeseburger palace because they yell out the orders. The place smells great!

I'm so glad I put in a small order (pretty darned big) - we ended up with half a grocery bag of fries - no problem for my young friend - a professional eater as I recall most students are - she sharked down a double burger in seconds, burped and smiled.

We saw evidence of very violent weather as we drove I-40. For a good 50 miles there were large circular patches of flattened trees visible off the road sides and many trees at the edges of these areas snapped in half like sticks.

Then also, along the highway there were regularly spaced piles of debris - apparently the road had been completely covered with storm trash - It must have been truly horrendous. I prayed for the living victims as I drove and was very thankful to have missed that terrible violence from the sky.

We made it to Carrboro @3p as planned. Stephany had been there before and so proved extremely valuable as the navigator- in-chief.

Ben & Ashley live in a pretty new, two story townhouse, the middle of three. Chapel Hill/Carrboro has lots of pleasantly shaded side streets like this one. Gobs & gobs of Crepe Myrtle everywhere - they were all green this time o year but I've been in town when they bloom - marvelous.

Most everything was already packed up at Ben & Ashley's - empty shelves, piles of stuff to go, etc. They sheltered me in Ben's den upstairs on the mattress for his old futon. Pretty darn comfy in there with all his books and paperwork.

Ben's knee is healing well with occasional mystery flare-ups. He has a slow time on the stairs - wisely taking it easy.

Stephany would sleep downstairs on the couch and Suzanne (Ben's mom - my X) had a pallet made up downstairs also. Suzanne had been in local residence since Wednesday helping out and being mom - of course the event is very exciting for her as for me - #1 son getting married and moving off to CA is one of the biggest events in both our lives.

Unfortunately, She still actively maintains a strong dislike for me even after these many many years. It doesn't bother me much - I'm a bit used to it - the only social caution for the entire event was "don't seat dad next to mom." Her choice not mine.

I know everybody doesn't love me but gosh, let's grow up a bit for the occasion. She would soften up a bit when I remembered aloud some of our old good times and adventures "Remember when we saw the "Star of India Sapphire" at the NY Museum of Natural History?" got a smile. And so did "How about the time we were drafted into the audience of the Tonight Show?" So... not too bad.

Ben and Ashley have a few very dear friends - they are exceptionally nice people (I guess similars attract too).

We met as a party of 9 Friday night at a seafood restaurant "The Saucy Crab". Kind of a SpongeBob Mr.Krabs looking logo. Lots of buckets & picnic tables. For a while the restaurant choice was out (phone planning) because they couldn't seat 9 but we did fine with a 6 top picnic table and an adjacent 4 seater booth. I sat with the kids. Suzanne sat with the adults (Ashley's folks - stepdad Ledon & mom Christine).

I had a good time with the young 'uns. They are terribly literate and entertaining, full of quick-witted jokes and easy to laugh. Dinner was excellent - all fresh seafood, crab legs, shrimp, clabs (yes, clabs), oysters, slaw, hushpuppies, etc. Lots of finger wiping and general eating mess - total yum!

At the Saucy Crab you make a choice of Old Bay or special sauces for a taste finish on your meal. I got peeled & deveined shrimp (1/2lb OldBay style) hush puppies & slaw. Ben & Ashely shared a huge ocean feast. It all smelled so good that you were hungry even when full - hmmmmm that could be dangerous.

Be sure to check the kissing sequence in the slide show link below**. It was taken at table. Aren't they beautifully happy??

Ashley had this marvelous bubbling energy and every so often would burst out with her entire face lit up "I'm getting Married tomorrow!!" Reminded me so much of Agnes in Despicable Me2 shaking Her tiny fists either side of her face, eyes tightly shut jumping Up and down and yelling "I'm soooo happy!!!"

She said it to the management and Ben kind of groaned thinking They would bring out the hats & face paint and sing and all that embarrassing stuff (embarrassing to him - she loves it) but it Worked out great for all - they only brought Champagne and Congrats.

After dinner we went to Pittsboro, where Ashley's folks live and The where ceremony was to take place.

I was driving by instruction and at the last left turn I was confronted by a bunch of confusing lights. Started to cross the highway and Ben yells STOP!"

I put on my brakes in time to let one set of lights become a speeding car zipping to the left in front of us. The moment passed like any other but I got a little scared afterwards thinking how easy it would have been to perpetrate a total tragedy. Didn't happen. Let's keep that good stuff going.

Major food prep going on at Ashley's folks place. Ben & Ashley's friend (and fellow graduate) Assad insisted on catering the affair when he heard they were to marry and the whole gang of us was in the kitchen cutting, chopping, slicing & dicing under Assad's very capable direction (for a CS grad he has a serious culinary talent.)

Oh, and I met a real movie star. This guy worked with Ackroid, Murray, Weaver, Moranis, Ramis, etc. I made some kind of Ghost Busters joke reference and Ben says "Bob, you going to tell him?"
Bob (and his twin brother) were the baby in Ghost Busters II! How cool is that? Bob is a very nice guy.

I played Ledon's guitar - a nice little Harmony 6-string - had some beer, lots of laughing conversation and food-prepping. I personally peeled enough garlic cloves for several trays of toast (and whatever other uses they fell to) and cutup & greased a whole bag o taters.

The Repast:
Deviled Eggs (recipe - her stepdad Ledon's secret)
hour's d oeuvres
Mediterranean Fish (Tilapia, onions, tomatoes, olive oil, etc. baked)
Black Pepper Chicken over rice
Roasted Potatoes (Lipton Onion style)
Garlic Bread
Green Bean Casserole
Wedding Cake
Tea & pink lemonade
Oh yeah!

During the evening of prep (yes, Ashley was still spontaneously bursting out "I'm getting married tomorrow!!") Ben stopped everything and said as gravely as possible to Ashley "Dear, you better sit down for this."

She sat.

"I can't marry you tomorrow." No reaction from her (she knows her man) but the ambient crowd was stunned for a second until he said looking at his watch - "Because it's today!!"

Big Kiss on that one.

I gratefully hit the sack back at Ben's around 1:30a and slept well. Nick the cat had to be sure I was OK and not doing his futon mattress any harm. Megan the dog wandered in, walked the perimeter and walked out - making sure I was safe (or contained).

I went right to sleep and awoke with first light. Listened for stirrings, heard none so grabbed a shower and waited for the rest of the house to come alive.

Read a bit in Ben's library - some "History of Math" and some essays by Tesla. Interesting stuff. I love the academic world and Ben thrives in it.

Ashley left early to go to her folks house to continue the grand prep etc. The rest of us stirred @ 8:30 / 9a. I had a bagel w crème cheese (kind of verboten - gluten wise), a banana & a cup O tea for breakfast.

We discovered Ben's black slacks at the bottom of the laundry pile so we had to wait for them to cycle through the wash. Realized we could dry them at the scene so went over pretty quickly back to Pittsboro.

Since Steph and I were leaving after the celebration we re-packed our stuff and I bid a thankful good-by to Ben & Ashley's townhouse. A very pleasant stay.

Once we got out to the Pittsboro hacienda, there was more energy stirring - we were alternately bustling or waiting quietly - this went on for several hours with the excitement building at a steady rate.

Ben, Ashley, Steph and I had a fun time wrestling with the breeze and taping table cloths to the tables. Steph eventually perfected her technique and continued to decorate by putting rose petals in the candle holders. Sweet stuff.

The ceremony was to be performed in the back yard garden. It has a nice stone walk and a fountain at the end. The feast would be consumed under the breezy carport and the cake cut out in the arbor.

The men (myself, Ben, Russell - best man, and others) had to wait in the back yard so we wouldn't see the bride until the appropriate moment. It was a bit warm but not too bad - plenty of breeze. The clouds threatened some but the major stuff blew on by. (ran into it later on the road.)

Suddenly (we really can't "capture" a moment in memory - we can only experience it but I do feel in recollection, the stillness of that moment as I write) all the prep was forgotten and the event began.

Ashley looked absolutely gorgeous (she is a lovely girl). The preacher's text was short happy and sweet (and included giant spiders!). The couples' vows were beautiful (Ben's broke me up big time - I and a lady across the circle were sniffling away by the time he finished.)

A beautiful circus - The rings, the presentation, the cheering, the food and celebration, with an overlay of total joy.

Each time we heard the new Casses' talking we would all ring our little bells and they would have to kiss. There were also tiny bottles of "bubble stuff" at each place setting so we'd have the silver ringing and tiny rainbow bubbles floating all over the scene and the kissing. It was so sweet - so very light and happy.

At one point I was gathered with the guys chatting away waiting for something or other traditional to happen - wasn't really paying much attention - when I heard a sudden commotion, turned around to see my son's back and this thing in the air just above my head. I reached up and grabbed it, and involuntarily uttered "Oh Shit!"

I had caught the garter.

The bouquet catcher was not interested (I am way older than most of the participants) but we'll see what magic if any, comes from this superstitious capture. (if we have super-stitions what the heck is a stition?) Single ladies - I'm vulnerable.

I watched the new couple cut the cake and we took off very shortly after. I was anxious to get as much daylight in my long return trip as possible, I have a pretty tough time night driving these days.

It always breaks my heart to part from my kids in real time. Takes me a while to recover - it is so wonderful to be around people you love and who accept you as you are.

A word about Russell, Ben's best man. We had met before through Ben a few years back. Russell has the most calming presence I've ever been around - there's something terribly nice about this guy - he exudes comfort and friendship. Not surprised he and Ben are so tight.

Very full agenda for the Newlyweds. they Fly out to CA next (this) week to get a home base and a target for the movers who are packing and moving almost all their stuff from NC to CA - except the animals.

Then they fly back to NC, pack up the critters - hermit crabs (they have an extensively furnished terrarium), Nick the stretch limo cat, Megan - faithful hound and numerous houseplants including a dewdrop (insectivorous) and do a "Road Trip" cross country to their new environs just east of San Francisco. Orta be a grand sojourn.

Ben told his new bosses he would try to be on the job by June 2. They said "Relax and take another week." Don't you just love reasonable higher ups? A good sign for sure.

Hours later safely at my hacienda after dropping Stephany and driving back to FrankTown, I called the newlyweds that evening @ 10:30. They were happily relaxing at home by themselves - all the guests and well wishers departed and they were having some quiet private time at the end of one of the finest days of their lives together.

I couldn't be happier.

** A link to a slide show presentation of the events.
Lotsa happy photos

Great Big Love!