Welcome !
Casses Home for the Gracefully Aging February, 2016
Along with the rest of the country we had mighty weird weather two weeks ago. The snow started Thursday last and we got
sent home from work @ 2pm. Good thing. It piled up quickly and driving was tough from both the weather and from
everybody trying to get home at one time. US 441 was crowded & slow.
An hour later and you would have been alone. Oh well.
During that night, it rained enough to mitigate the hazardous driving. Then it sleeted. I wasn't sure about work that day but a
few times a week I swim laps at the fitness center. Since the roads were just wet I went for it.
As I pulled into the gym, I got the text message 'no work today'. OK, I can take my time now.
Kind of neat - the air was cold for sure but the pool & tub are heated so there was a thick local indoor fog in
the pool area - couldn't see the other end until you got there. Looking back, the end you just left was cloudy and backlit.
I was the only guy in the pool (just like a super rich 1% person). I swab (swibbed?) and soaked in the hot tub.
As I was leaving I saw something I'd never seen before in my 66 1/2 years. The parking lot was covered
- with mathematical precision - by identically sized (silver dollar +) "dots". ???
It was strikingly precise and as evenly distributed as if it had been drawn by an architect - like a bolt of white dotted
black cloth laid across the entire blacktop. I have a witness to confirm the panorama. (Once in a lifetime sightings
that melt quickly can be suspicious).
I didn't get a photo - should have. I scoured the web for photos and finally scored a limited hit with
the search phrase "slush dots". This is a pretty good photo of someone else’s dots. Mine were perfectly uniform and evenly spaced.
There is a pleasing snap to your mindset when the unexpected, unusual and beautiful appears where it wasn't before. Very enjoyable.
The roads were passable and I did a few chores while I could drive around including some bill paying & some grocery shopping.
The weather gods were "calling" for more snow and I wanted to be set for the duration.
Got home and parked on the flat straight portion of my driveway so I could get out without trying to climb ice hills.
It's OK. I'm home. The electricity is on (and stayed on for the whole 3 days!) and I have food, books, music & movies.
I called a dear friend to see if they wanted to come over for snowbound company but they declined. Safety first.
Once the temp dropped enough to turn the precip back into flakes again, the standing water turned to ice and the weather became
evil and treacherous. (though damn pretty and it sounds great too!)
That evening I swept/shoveled a path on the deck, breathed the refreshing cold air & made a little snow lady. That's about
my entire snow play. It was too windy - bitter.
I might have plowed & smoothed a sled run (I have some nice slopes) if I had been more inspired, with company or a bit less chilly.
Next time.
I had left my work computer turned on so I could reach it from home via TeamViewer if any work emergencies came up.
(Not too many folk were on the job but those that were - including emergency workers - might need support.)
I sent out an email notice to Wayfarer's congregation that church would be canceled on Sunday. We
have a beautiful chapel right on a creek and if the road gets any snow at all it can be a disaster. So again, safe is better. It turns out many of our members were snowed in anyhow.
Later Sunday it warmed up enough to melt the majority. I ventured out in the afternoon to a melting white world.
It was a nice quiet 3 day weekend with Monday becoming sunny & the roads drying out well. Back to regular business. OK.
I like how the weather sometimes changes our plans. It put us in a common boat. The community grows stronger.
Helpers abound and general kindness prevails.
Especially nice when it's just inconvenient to our intentions and not a full blown disaster.
We've just had recent events that make talking about weather phenoms seem trivial.....
In the basement of my building there is a tiny office - Guardian Ad Litem. (court appointed guardian for unrepresented
children in the system - a real hero's job in my book.)
Some years back I walked past the open office door one afternoon and noticed this lady working at a desk and there
was something terribly familiar about her.
I'm kind of shy, especially around strangers on the floor where cops, criminals, parolees, etc. come & go but I said
something like "I'm sorry but you seem very familiar."
She snapped "Who the heck ARE you?" (almost scared me).
I answered "I'm Chris Casses".
She squinted hard - right at me and let then out a full tilt cowboy whoop. (that DID scare me).
"Don't you know me, I'm Connie" (as if she was the only one - damn close).
"What?"
Connie Barker from Vero Beach!!!!
O. M. G. (that was about 4 years ago)
We re-acquainted and became fast friends (not girlfriend/boyfriend - she was very much self-empowered).
Over the years we spent many hours sunning on my deck and talking about everything from Vero and its varied
characters to philosophy & religion. Connie was a very religious person and a true seeker.
The daughter of a bridge keeper on the Indian River and proud descendant of the infamous "Ma" Barker, Connie told me
she grew up in Vero Beach Florida shooting acorns from a big slingshot at the neighborhood boys.
She was a dedicated horse person and hung out with that gang when possible.
Connie grew into a total knockout beauty in High School days.
You could find her almost anytime - one in a line of large colorful beach towels spread out on the sand side-by-side,
each sporting a tanned young lady in her finest beach regalia.
- big hats & parasols, sheer wraps, coolers & baskets abounding,
radios blasting R&R music with the turquoise Atlantic stretching to the horizons and the whole place smelling of Coppertone.
Heaven.
Yep - hanging with the beach girls back in Vero late 60's. She was VBHS Class of 70 I think. I was class of 67 and we didn't
socialize but everybody knew who Connie Barker was. A diminutive cutie pie with Betty-Boop spiked eyelashes and a great happy attitude.
I was always in a band (since age 14) and we saw Connie almost everywhere we played out.
She told me tales about a high school trip to Europe & about getting lost riding a scooter in Rome.
Great stories about she and her girlfriends' adventures together. It must have been grand.
After graduation Connie got a big time secretarial job with Gulf & Western. Major success - driving a
Mercedes & 20K$ in the bank - she "had it made". But something big was missing and as she told it, she
had a spiritual revelation and dumped the jet-setting life style for horses & good friends & family.
Thirty years of life later we bumped into each other in Franklin North Carolina - total accident (or was it?)
In the local court system she had a reputation for ignoring the "Chain of Command" if one of her case kids
had pressing problems. I was proud of her for that - putting the intent of the system before the structure & BS. Yes.
She left the Guardian Ad Litem position and became semi-retired. Mainly occupied with her immediate family, property & critters,
Connie was a famous recluse.
She had more than a bit of Oscar the Grouch about her (very tender hearted people are often grumpy as a defense)
and she usually didn't answer the phone. She would call you but you couldn't call her.
She loved her animals to an extreme and like I said had a big big heart.
Very much like Shirley MacLaine’s character "Wheezy" in the movie Steel Magnolias.
She did come over @ Thanksgiving last and we had a nice chat & a beer on deck. She was very happy about having
both her kids visiting soon.
Sometimes she would come by the house and if I wasn't there she'd leave a little sticky note. I sometimes
called her ladybug for the bug drawing she would make on the note.
I didn't see any notes between Thanksgiving & Christmas so I went over Dec 26 to check (you can't call, remember?).
Loud & grouchy as ever she yelled "Go away, I'm resting!". I yelled back, "OK, have a nice nap, Merry Christmas." and left.
I came back a week later Sunday Jan 3 and got the same response. This time I double checked and said "You know who this is?" And she yelled back "Yes, yes, it's Chris. Now leave me be, I'm not up for company."
"OK, OK Happy New year !!" and I left.
Saturday last (Jan 30) I was with a friend tire shopping and we were in the neighborhood so I decided it
had been too long and we went to check.
We drove out and as we pulled up the drive I saw the back door ajar and thot "that’s a good sign, she’s up."
But the screen door was latched and there was no answer to our hails.
We yelled "Connie! Connie!" like crazy and I finally went to the front door and shouldered it open.
I heard a kitty, opened the bedroom door to the right, still heard kitty, opened the closet & kitty came out from under the bed.
In the living room, a dead parakeet was on the floor of its large cage by the TV which said DISH in red.
Messy house, (double wide). I went through the kitchen towards the back (her) bedroom.
I looked in, we’re still yelling Connie? Connie? The door is open. I look in again. Her bed is empty & unmade.
I’m wondering where the heck is she?
I found her body on the floor between the bed & window, face up, head towards the foot of the bed. She had been gone
for quite a while. (the medical examiner later said it was a heart attack). We called 911 & all the stuff began.
Thank goodness my friend has a tough constitution and we’ve been through some rough times together. Don’t know what I would have been alone.
They finally let us go @ 4p. I had discovered the body @1:30.
I'm heartbroken & guilty that I didn't push the door in and see her that last time she yelled. She was a dear &
precious person. Feisty as hell but a huge heart like I said, sometimes grumpy people are protecting extreme tenderness.
That was all days ago. I was pretty crashed & tumbled by the wave that broke on me. I'm beginning to breathe again.
It's extreme. One moment I'm sad the next, angry, helpless, very appreciative of life, a few laughs at sudden fond memories.
All in a steady stream.
It is slowly getting better.
Ubuntu die-hards sang mid-week - it was good. (I didn’t tell the gang)
Connie's daughter Carey came to see me at my office. We cried & talked and what else can you do?
Connie’s son Scotty was probably coming up soon.
Carey told me Connie had been cremated and as per her request will be scattered in the Indian River back
in Vero like her mom Patty & dad Elmer.
Connie and I often parted with a hug and a spoken "I love you".
Rest in Peace, Dear little ladybug.
