When Spam and Infocom collide

(article date: March 8, 1998)


> New Golf Daily Publication...
>
> Rockies Golf Daily is a new golf daily dedicated to golf in Colorado and
> the Rocky Mountain Region....
> Go to Rockies Golf Daily at: www.rockiesgolf.com
> Free classified ads, golf giveaways, equipment columns and more....

>OPEN MAILBOX
Inside your mailbox you see the usual bills, another advertisement from the
casino you visited ONCE three years ago, and a magazine entitled "Rockies 
Golf Daily".

>TAKE ALL
bills: taken
ad: taken
magazine: taken
mailbox:  You can't be serious

>OPEN MAGAZINE
You flip forward to the table of contents.  In it, you see there are articles 
on the local golf courses, "Year-Round Golfing" ("flourescent orange golf balls 
have highest visibility when playing on snow", "Golf World sells the HeatPro 
golf bag heater for...") tips for improving your swing and the promised free 
classified ads, golf giveaways, etc.

>OPEN FRONT DOOR. ENTER
You open the front door.

You walk in your house.

Living Room
   Sparsely furnished, but functional.  You have purposely kept the furniture
down to the bare minimum so as not to interfere with the accoustics produced by 
your $2000, 1000-watt stereo system.

>WEST. GET IN BED. SLEEP. GET OUT. EAST
Bedroom
   You enter your bedroom.  You've been here many times before, so there's no 
need to describe it to you.

You get in your bed.

You drift off to sleep, thinking about the day you've had.
When you awake, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping.  It's going to be a 
great day!

You get out of your bed.

Living Room.
  You notice that it is very cold in here since you forgot to close the front 
door yesterday.

>WAIT UNTIL 12:00.  NORTH
Time passes... (and your stomach growls, reminding you of a missed breakfast).

Front Yard.

>OPEN MAILBOX
Inside your mailbox are more bills and another issue of "Rockies Golf Daily".

>READ MAGAZINE
[Taken]
So far, they are living up to their promise of being a daily magazine.  However,
you notice that today's issue looks remarkably like yesterday's issue.

>ENTER HOUSE. CLOSE DOOR. S.  EAT LUNCH.  N.  W.  GET IN BED. SLEEP.
  GET OUT. E.  OPEN DOOR.  N.
Living Room.

Closed.

Kitchen
   Also sparsely furnished, but functional.  You find a frozen dinner in the 
freezer, zap it in the microwave and scarf it down.

Living Room

Bedroom

You are lying in your bed.

You fall asleep, thinking that you really should have done more today, or else 
waited until night time to go to sleep.
   When you awake, it is 24 hours later, noontime, though it feels like you 
hardly got any sleep at all.

You get out of bed.

Living Room

Openend.

Front Yard

>OPEN MAILBOX
No bills today, just another issue of "Rockies Golf Daily".  Suspicious, you 
pick it up and check the table of contents.  Yup, same columns, though the 
magazine bears today's date.  You comment on this to no one in partcular.

The mailbox, however, heard you.  Suddenly, it undergoes a transformation.  Eyes
appear on the top of the mailbox, the flap becomes a mouth complete with sharp
teeth.  It leans forward, grabs the magazine out of your hands with its mouth,
and begins eating it.  Startled, you take a few steps back, wondering if this
being is related to the mailbox in "Wishbringer", but you can't remember if it
is the game or the novel.

After it finishes, the mailbox emits a satisfied burp, then winks at you. 
"Don't worry," it says, "I'll dispose of them for you."  The mailbox then
reverts back to its non-living state.

"It's a halucination caused by lack of food," you think, and you hurry back
inside the house to rectify that situation.


(Your score just went up by 50 points for sticking around to read all of this.)

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