Myquotes

Myquotes
(Mike Quotes)

This is a list of things that I've said at one time or another.
To the best of my knowledge, this is entirely original material.

...on Paranoia:

"Who says I’m paranoid?" c. 1990

...on Insecurity:

"Do you really think I’m insecure?" c. 1990

...on Decisiveness:

"I’m not ‘wishy-washy’! Well, maybe I am..." c. 1990

...on Charity:

“Charity cannot be coerced: if it isn't voluntary, it isn't charity.” 7 February, 1997

...on Patience:

"I have the patience of a spider." c. May, 1997

...on Assumptions:

"Assumption is the father of misunderstanding." 23 June, 1997

...on E-mail signature quotes:

“Something clever usually goes here.” 24 June, 1997

...on Reality vs. Imagination:

“How "real" am I? I commented, once upon a time, that I was a figment of my own imagination (I have a very vivid imagination!), and therefore, so are all the rest of you (figments of my imagination).” 01 July, 1997
" ‘I AM’ imagined me, before the world began...” 01 July, 1997

...on Mixing foreign words:

"Carpe Diem, und gefallen finden an es." 23 July, 1997

...on Geography:

“The irrelevance of your location is neither here nor there.” 29 July, 1997
"She's not lost - she's just misplaced!" 23 August, 1999

...on “Virus Alerts”:

“Every Time you see ‘Please e-mail this to everyone you know!!!’, Think: ‘Chain Letter!’ ” 13 August, 1997

...on Lady Diana Spencer, Princess of Wales:

“She’s not really dead: she’s just gone to be with Elvis.” 31 August, 1997

...on Bureaucrats:

“The bureaucrats will continue to refuse to see beyond the walls of their own cubicles until Management, or Death, forces them to do otherwise, and even then they will continue to struggle; to deny that any way but theirs is ‘right’.”           27 October, 1997
"Misery loves company: that's why bureaucrats travel in packs!"      23 May, 2000
"Bureaucracy is a mindless, amoral, expansionist force."          12 September, 2000

...on Procrastination:

"I was going to procrastinate today, but hey; I can do that any time!" 16 April, 1998

...on Having a Look:

"I’ve got too many geese over here; could you please come take a gander?" 29 September, 1998

…on Airheads and Know-it-alls:

“For every Cliff, there’s a Woody.” 25 January, 1999

…on Irony and Pedagogues:

“Irony is wasted on the pedagogue.” 1 February, 1999

…on “half the battle”:

“If you think about it, losing is also half of the battle.” 24 November, 1999

…on Understanding Women:

“A man who truly does understand women... ...is also wise enough not to mention it in their hearing!” 11 January, 2000

…on Audience Response:

“I'd rather hear 'em laugh than see 'em yawn.” 8 June, 2000

…on Open Minds:

“An open mind is an invitation for whomever comes along to dump their garbage.” 20 July, 2000

…on Inevitability:

“In this area, rain is as inevitable as death or taxes, though slightly more welcome.” 25 July, 2000

…on Zealots:

“There is no zealot like a "converted" zealot.” 1985
“The zealous "Anti-Zealot", blind in his passion, cannot see that he is the very mirror of all that he opposes.” 1 November, 2000

…on Stupidity:

“Crazy can always be thwarted by stupid, and everyone occasionally suffers from at least temporary stupidity.” 9 January, 2001
“Stupid is only a choice some of the time (the rest of the time it's the "default" position).” 9 January, 2001

…on E-Petitions:

“Most electronic petitions aren't worth the paper they're printed on.” 5 January, 2001

…on Fridays:

“It is Friday, on the other side of the Irrational Dateline!” Monday, May 24, 2004

…on Teasing:

“I'm here to make fun of you; not to Judge you.” October 13, 2004

Visitor Number

since 20 February, 2000

This page was last updated on 11 June, 2005.