Julie's Blog

Here it is, Sunday night. That was a long week. I worked all week filling in for Karen, our Optician. I really do enjoy my job and the people I work with. I ended up with a severe sinus infection and ear and ongoing throat problem that made my week more interesting. I still feel a little wiped out.

This week I am working Tuesday instead of Monday because I'm going back to the dermatologist that I went to as a teen. My cystic acne has returned after a 10 year hiatus. I took Accutane back in 1992 for 6 months. The side effects were horrible, but it cleared up my skin for about 10 years. I am not sure what they can do for me now. I can't take Accutane again right now because we are wanting to add to our family. So, I'm going to see if there is any new technology out there to help me with my skin.

My parents dropped Gabby off at our house Thursday afternoon on their way to pick up Nathan from school. Thursday was the viewing of his Grandpa. I had dropped Gabby off at mom and dad's on Sunday night and didn't get to see her until Thursday night when I got home from work. When I walked in the door, I heard her say, "Mama?" and I said, "Gabby?" and she said "Mama?" We ran to each other with our arm open wide. We just hugged and hugged and hugged. Then she threw her head back in a fit of giggles. It sure was good to see my girl. I do think she got even more cute the 4 days that we were apart.

My sister-in-law's father passed away last night. She told me that on Saturday, her daddy told her not to cry, so they laughed together. I know that he didn't want her to cry for him. He knew that he had lived a good life and was just so thankful that he had never been ill until the end. I know that he didn't want her to cry for him, but now that he's gone, I know she will have to shed some tears for herself. She has been so strong through all of this. I know that she has really gained a lot of strength from Christ. Christ is the only way. God is the only way we can make it through the hard times.

What I remember about Dick the most is that he always had a smile on his face, and always seemed jovial. His picture was on the front page of the paper today. He had that beautiful smile on his face in that picture, which was so typical of the Dick I knew. I saw him at my nephew's birthday parties and the few games of Nathan's that I have been able to attend.

My heart just hurts for my sis-in-law and nephew at the loss of their dad and grand dad. I know how special he was to them. I do not want to even think of the day when I might lose one of my parents. I somehow do not think I will be as strong as Shelly has been.

Wow, this DSL sure is nice...works tons faster than dial up. Having my own little webpage is fun, too.

My little boy, Latte keeps growing and growing in my heart more and more each day. I can finally look at a picture of Daphne and not have it hurt quite so much. I have never grieved so hard before in my life. I think it was because Daphne was such a huge part of my life...with me almost every moment, except for Church on Sunday and work on Mondays. I am so glad that I feel like I have crawled out of that deep pit of a hole that I fell in after I lost her. God is my comfort and my shield. He is always there for me.

I have been feeling such a heavy burden for the lost. With all the hurricanes, war, terrorist bombings, etc, it sure is showing the signs of the end times. Of course we will never know when the time is here, but we must be prepared. We must live our lives for Christ and not for ourselves. When people are living their lives for themselves, the thought of having to give up things or give up what you want seems hard and like something that you may not want to do. What those people don't realize is that when you are truly living for Christ, there is so much more....more than you ever realized. So much fulfillement, and that what you are doing isn't just for now, it's for eternity and guaranteeing your place in eternity. But you can only do that if you surrender youself.

Every night when Gabby and I say bedtime prayers, we pray that God show His Light and His Love in our lives so that others might see Him. I know that God is using that prayer because I see it come into play all the time. It used to be scary for me to pray, "Lord, use me!" I was afraid of what he might ask me to do or where he might ask me to go. But now my prayer is that God use me...Lord help me to show Your Love and at least plant seeds in people's lives. As I sit here writing this, tears well up in my eyes for the lost. Oh please surrender yourselves to God...spend eternity with us in Heaven...the alternative is not good....

The other night when Gabby and I were saying prayers, she actually started praying with me, really praying for the first time. She has said "Amen" at the end for quite a while now, but to hear her pray was such a blessing. It made my heart sing and my cup runneth over. It helps me know that I am doing the job that God wants me to as her mother. Lord, please continue to help me in this job of parenting. Help me to raise Gabby up to know and love You....to be joyful, full of love and hope, responsible, respectful...

Yesterday we had to run into town. I had Gabby and Latte with me. We stopped at the nursing/rehab home to see Mary Ann, but she wasn't there. We did get to visit with my mom's friend, Wava. I know she really enjoyed our visit, and so did I. Gabby was a little shy. She is not normally but can be at times with people she doesn't know. I have had a vision since she was a baby, or maybe even when I was still pregnant, of taking her to the nursing home to visit people. I envisioned going and finding out who really doesn't have any family or friends that come and visit. I know that most of the elderly enjoy children and I would like us to come and bring some joy into their lives. Gabby is now getting to the perfect age to start this. Now that I have Latte, I plan on taking him, too. What a wonderful way to raise Gabby to be compassionate....Lord please bless this opportunity that we have, and may we reach some lost souls possibly near the end of their lives. May we show them your love and help them to know you.

Well, it's getting about time to think about what to fix for supper. Not sure what we will have. Brian is not up yet and Gabby is playing with her animals and barn. She just brought a bunny rabbit up to me and made it hop on the arm of my chair. So I will end this here.