It seems like it has been such a long time since I have posted here, not since I was still pregnant and living with my parents.  BOY! am I glad that part if over with!  Pregnancy and I just don't seem to mix well.  The outcome is marvelous, though!

 

The twins were 2 months old on Sunday.  Their life certainly has gone a lot faster than the pregnancy with them.  And, I have never been so exahausted and sleep deprived in my life.  They have started sleeping a little longer at night, but unfortunately, it's not always at the same time.  Just when I think we are starting to get into a schedule/routine, they prove me wrong.  I guess they don't want me getting too comfortable in this new job position of being a mom of twins.

 

They have each gained over 3 pounds and grown over 3 inches since we brought them home, but they are still little.  I just packed up all of their preemie clothes and they are now wearing the newborn size.  They also just graduated into size 1 diapers.  The newborn size still fit them, but we need the absorbancy of the size 1's. 

 

Gabby seems to like being a big sister, but at the same time is feeling a little bit neglected, I think.  She seems to go deaf about the time I am nursing a baby or two and really can't get up to follow through with what I am saying.  But, she is also 3 and a half.  She still is my precious baby girl, even though she has grown up so much.

 

We have decided to stay at our church.  Sometimes my hurt feelings come back because I still feel so alone, but there have also been so many people who have been so kind.  I still don't have anyone I can count on for help besides my parents and hubby, Brian.  People that I know that would help me live too far away, and people that live close that might help work full time or have young children themselves and aren't able to.  I told someone that any help I could get is better than no help at all.  Being a mom of twins and a 3 1/2 year old is hard work, especially when my husband works nights and sleeps days...during those times, it's just me to manage, and it's not always easy.  I just haven't been sure where to ask for help, as sometimes I could really use some.  I am still praying for that "best friend" that I have always longed for...someone who would kind of be like the sister that I never had....someone I could go to and someone I could count on when I needed someone.  I just have never felt like I had someone like that.  There have been times and people that I thought I had found that kind of friend, but I was mistaken. 

 

I am sitting here with Savannah on my lap.  I just looked down at her to put her Binkie back in her mouth and I just noticed that she has eyelashes!  Before, when they were born, they didn't look like they had any, and I guess I just hadn't noticed that they have come in.  They are very light in color and long and pretty like Gabby's.  I will have to look at Olivia and see if she has some, too, now.  I also see some eyebrows, and they are very very light, too...so light that they seem to blend in with her skin.  My mom thought these girls might end up being blondes, and she may be right.  Their hair definitely has a reddish cast to it, though.  You can only see it in sunlight, though.  The strange thing is that my hair tends to take on a reddish cast right after I have been pregnant.  WEIRD!  I have never had reddish hair before, other than after having Gabby.  I used to be very blonde, but it's turned into dark blonde as I neared and then got into my 30's.

 

Brian, again, is such a good daddy.  I don't think I could ask for better.  Some people feel sorry for him surrounded by a house full of girls, but if you ask me, I think he likes it!  It will be interesting when our girls are teenagers, though.  I honestly don't know if I could imagine him with a son...and I guess that's a good thing, because unless we are in the 2% of failed tubal ligations, we are done having children.  This body of mine just can't handle anymore pregnancies.

 

As I sign off, I just want to say that I do certainly feel blessed.  I feel so rich.  I do have everything I have every really wanted and needed.  Our needs have always been met and I have a wonderful hubby and daughters.  Monetarily we are not rich, as we are really struggling in that aspect.  Right now our expenses exceed our income, but I have faith that we will be ok.  God will supply all of our needs.  I had been praying for God to help provide us with diapers, as that is a big expense.  So far, with gifts, gift cards, sales and coupons, we have done ok....just hoping for that new job for Brian to arrive so that at least our income will hopefully equal our expenses, but I do think God has more in store for us than that.

 

No matter what our struggles and trials, we must turn to the One who created us.  He loves us so much that He hung on the cross and died for us.  He knows every hair on our heads and knows our joys and pains.  May I always thank God for all I have and all I am, for I would be NOTHING without Him!  Thank you, Lord, for the roof over our heads, the food in our bellies and that our needs have been taken care of.  Thank you for blessing me with parents that care and that are there for me.  Thank you for my loving husband and for the wonderful father that he is to our children.  Thank you for my poodles, for they help show me your unconditional love and are some of my best friends here on earth.  Thank you for the wonderful Christian friends that you have brought me through my love of poodles that live all over the country.  Thank you for a loving youth pastor that I had going through some horrid teenage years that helped keep me on the right path, and please be with him and his family right now.  Thank you Lord, for everything.  I love you with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind!