"The SALAMI Snooze" On-line edition, April 1, 1997 — Page 3

Bill Gates in a Rubber Room

During his November 27th, 1996 interview on The Tonight Show, Bill Gates described part of the house he is building: the Trampoline Room.
     Bill: "It's a room where the whole floor is the trampoline. The walls are padded, though."
     Jay Leno: "So, Bill Gates is in a rubber room with padded walls."


Alles Touristen und non-Technischen Look ens Peepers!

Das computenmachine is nicht fur gerfinger poken und mittengrabben. Oderwise ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen, und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Der Machine is diggen by experten only. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen das cottenpicken hands in das pockets, so relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights!

The Truth Can Now Be Told

You may have seen the story that tries to prove that Bill Gates is the Anti-Christ by adding up the value of each letter in his name. However, we now have conclusive proof that Bill Gates is evil: Microsoft is developing an animated Barney toy.
     Going a step beyond Teddy Ruxpin, a interactive toy released several years ago by another company that would sing along with specific video tapes, the ActiMates Interactive Barney toy can interact with either CD-ROMs or video tapes when the additional modules are bought.
     The article reported Erik Strommen as saying, "He looks like a stuffed animal, but he's actually a cuddly little computer." Mr. Strommen is a psychologist hired by Microsoft to help develop the educational content of this new system. Based on that statement, it could be said that Barney is now a Borg, having had computer technology assimilated into him by Microsoft.

(Original story reported in the Friday, February 7th, 1997 issue of the Seattle Post-Intelliencer newspaper.)

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