While reviewing your parents expenses for ways to cut back be careful not to eliminate those that give them joy.  Stopping a frivolous sounding expense can have a negative effect.  For example; I found my mother spending money every week for a haircut and that seemed excessive to me.  But, I learned from listening to her that this was more that a simple haircut, it was her “therapy”.  She met the same ladies all about her age each week and this was their time to relax, socialize and in a sense have a group therapy session.  It was important to her and I realized the expense was worth the good feeling it gave her.

So, if your parents are spending money on club dues, bingo, a friendly game of poker or whatever helps them get out and socialize it is probably worth the non-essential cost.  The fellowship and companionship of clubs and organizations can be very healthful especially for widows and widowers.  However, if you see a pattern of high expenses such as gambling losses from repeated trips to the casino it may be time to step in and try to stop or reduce the losses.

Another expense that is sometimes a source of joy for a parent is giving gifts or money.  It may be a habit that grew over the years for children and grandchildren birthdays and especially at Christmas.  Parents like to help out and once kids are teenagers’ money is the easiest present to give.  As they grew older the size of such gifts often grew as well.  Your parents’ income normally also rose higher as well until retirement.  The problem is that they often do not cut back when their income becomes fixed, sometimes beyond their means.  They believe the kids depend upon the gifts or would think they love them less if they reduce their size.

I’ve had a difficult time convincing my parents that they need to pull back on these gifts.  Our kids are grown and out on their own so they do not need the money as much as when they were in school.  And, the kids understand the need for their grandparents to reduce expenses although they always appreciate the cash.  I finally had to present the cold hard facts of their income and expenses to my folks to convince them to reduce cash gift giving.  I also let them know the kids understood and still loved them for remembering birthdays with just a small gift in the future.