Another touchy subject is your parent’s health.  Specifically, what medications they are taking (probably a lot of them) and a visit with their doctor.  Parents normally try to shield medical problems from their spouses and children.  They don’t want to worry you.  But, it’s an important area that must be broached.

So, explain your concern for their health and ask to attend a meeting with their doctor(s) to review their medication and health concerns.  They may resist but again remind them that you will not be able to ask if they are in a coma.  Finally, I’ve learned from personal experience that elderly patients filter what they hear and what they tell you when they visit the doctor alone.  This was the problem with my father.  He either didn’t remember or understand important medical facts about his condition when we spoke to him afterwards.  Or, he was trying to spare my mother from worry.  The actual result was more concern on our part not knowing the full story.

HIPAA:  You are probably aware of the effects of the new health information privacy law.  You cannot ask for parents’ health status without it.  It is critical that you obtain permission from each parent at each physician’s office and hospital to have access to their medical status.  An alternative is a copy of their Health Care Power of Attorneys on file at the office.  (see article about important papers)

Be prepared to ask the doctor questions about their health conditions, possible treatments and any symptoms to watch for that may indicate problems.  Ask about diet and physical activity restrictions.  You can also provide a more honest and complete picture of your parent’s symptoms.  And, if you dare, ask whether driving is still advisable.  This is a tough one you may want to ask in a private meeting with doctor.  My father’s doctor was shocked to learn he was still driving years after he should have stopped.

Ask the doctor to review all your parent’s medications to ensure they are still needed, possible adverse interaction, generic (lower cost) substitutions, dosage still required, etc.  Are these medications the best option for elderly?  Make a full list of all medications, dosages and how often taken and keep it handy.  This is invaluable in emergencies and you can verify your folks are taking medication at correct times and dosages.  Ask the doctor for samples of medications to save some money.  Use those handy day-by-day pillboxes to help them take medications correctly.